Tingle Controversy

[Sludgey]

We hear a lot of things about Tingle. We hear about how he's gay, how he's creepy, or how he's greedy. We never hear the positives, because it seems that the positives just don't exist. (Since being gay is a negative of course) I, however, have a very different reason for hating him; one I shall now enlighten you with, for the good of spreading knowledge....and for your own safety.

Tingle has appeared in many Zelda games, and has been the star of his own. But I only play good games, so I've only seen him in Wind Waker, Oracle of Ages, and Majora's Mask. Fortunately, his appearance in Oracle of Ages is limited enough that we don't have to discuss it.Therefore, Majora's Mask and Wind Waker are the only ones we'll be touching on.

First, let's take a look at Majora's Mask Tingle.


Try not to scream.

Tingle focuses on making maps, likely because he's in the air via balloon all the time. However, how is this even possible? It was prove on Myth Busters that you'd need....a really big number of balloons to sustain the weight of a mere child. Tingle is 35. And obese. While he does not say the following specifically to explain this phenomenon, he does state this: he is the reincarnation of a fairy.

Well, I didn't have any doubts of his homosexuality. However, again, how does he stay in the air? Keep this question in mind as we progress in our analysis.

Tingle has a father, surprisingly; he neither crawled out of a hole somewhere, nor did he come to being by fairies, as he'd like to think.


Here is the unfortunate man himself. He runs a boat tour agency; it appears Tingle did not share his secrets of flight with his own father. The two do not even talk anymore. Perhaps that is the reason; however, I have a different theory. In addition to renting out boats for tours, he runs a photography contest. Photojournalists...the ultimate enemy of an undercover terrorist. Ahem. Sorry.

We move on to Wind Waker Tingle now.


Tingle is significantly less disturbing this time around...in appearance only. He's now even creepier. Tingle spent much of his life in prison during Wind Waker...why, you ask? We can only create theories.

However, once Link foolishly releases him, we find, deep in his prison cell....a camera.



Recall that Tingle's father was the leader of a photography contest! Why would there be a camera in Tingle's cell? Perhaps...he stole it, because of the contents of the camera? Perhaps. Perhaps.

The pieces are starting to come together in your head, I'm sure, but we're far from through yet.

In Wind Waker, Tingle runs a certain island with four gimp slaves. In order from left to right, they are:

Tamad, Ankle, Knuckle, and David Jr. All of them are forced to constantly turn a gigantic wheel on his island endlessly. Why? Only God knows, but we can guess.

On this island is where you get to participate in the greatest required event in all Zelda; Triforce Chart Collecting. In addition to having to find the **** things, you also have to go to where they are on the map and dig them out. Fun. But that's not all; they also cost 398 rupees to decipher.

389. Random number...or something more?

Tingle also demands 201 Rupees to get the IN-credible chart, an all but mandatory chart with the locations of the triforce charts.

398. 201.

9.

3+8 = 11

9/11.

201

2001.

September 11th, 2001.


Oh yes, you thought he was a simple homosexual fairy loving psychopath. You. Were. Wrong.

The camera. His father took a picture that would incriminate him on the day of the attack. The giant machine on his island, and his "obsession" with fairies; in fact, he uses their flight abilities to extract them for his own use, allowing him to use the two planes as decoys while he did the real explosion. His life in prison term was a slip, but everyone had long since forgotten why he was there.

But now you know, Tales forum.

Now you know.

[Abicion]

[Shikon]

Wow, I feel smarter now. Truly I do.
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[Gondor Reficul]

Too bad 2+8 actually adds up to 10, not 11.
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[Cloud]

Thanks for giving me another reason to hate that ****er.
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[Sludgey]

It says 3, not 2. I don't even know what you guys are talking about.


Well, you could be trying to distract us from the real issues. Are you?

[Tamad]

So now I know that man I've been slaving for all this time caused 9/11, and that Tingle is actually Ricther. Everything is falling into place.

Thank you Sludgey, thank you.
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[Atlas]

Tingle is my god.

[Shikon]

[Conn]

[Fake]

**** you Tingle.
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[Psypher]

.....I always liked Tingle, but I don't think I can forgive him for causing 9/11 ='(
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[Gamerofthegame]

[PrettyKitty]

I can see tingle hijacking a plane.
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I know it's never easy. But nothing ever was.

[Fake]

I refuse to believe Knuckle had any part in this.
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