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lemeinthrigil
Joined: 23 Jan 2008
Posts: 59
Location: My House
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 Posted: Sat Jan 26, 2008 8:20 pm Post subject: Tales of Mechania (Currently wanting an artist) |
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Tales of Mechania is a story that will question what is right and what is wrong, specifically: human experimentation. I will post character profiles and links to the chapters here as I write. And with that, I begin writing the first chapter and the first character profile. The Katz will play a slightly bigger role in this story.
James Gold
James Gold
Race: Human (Earth)
Gender: M
Height: 5' 11"
Weight: 123 pounds
Age: 16 years
A 16 year old from our world, mysteriously sent to Alna by an unknown entity. His first view of the new world is of a gigantic metal building, in the middle of a desert. Back in our world, he was an average 10th grader, thinking about his future. He wanted to be a writer when he graduated from college, but his dreams seem to be impossible in this new world. He is struggling with an unknown problem.
C-142
Race: Mechanical Human
Gender: F
Height: 3' 8"
Weight: 35 pounds
Age: 16 years (appears 5)
James was turned into C-142 forcibly by Alna Laboratories.
James Mengele
James Mengele
Race: Human (Alna)
Gender: M
Height: 6' 2"
Weight: 134 pounds
Age: 23 years
James Mengele is the son of Dr. Josef Mengele, the Nazi scientist. He befriended C-142 because she revealed to him the history of his father. He was assigned to explain to C-142 what had taken place when she received her new body.
Vocabulary
Alna - The world of Tales of Mechania.
Alna Laboratories - A laboratory mostly known for its unorthodox methods of product testing - capture and force. Many humans and Katz have fallen victim to its tricks. Some believe that Josef Mengele, the famed Nazi "doctor", originated at these laboratories before he found a way to get to Earth.
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Click here to go to my website/the official website of the game Tales of Melodia (yes it's an overused name)
Support Tales of Melodia and the team behind it at RPG Central! Buy from Play-Asia using this link!
Earn free stuff by completing offers. Yes, it really works, I got Tales of Legendia with this!
Last edited by lemeinthrigil on Wed Jan 30, 2008 1:10 am; edited 5 times in total |
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lemeinthrigil
Joined: 23 Jan 2008
Posts: 59
Location: My House
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| Posted: Sat Jan 26, 2008 8:40 pm Post subject: |
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And here's...
Chapter 1
Part 1 of 3
James slowly opened his eyes to a dusty tan sky. Where am I? he thought. This has gotta be a dream. Maybe if I go back to sleep... He turned over to the side and was starting to close his eyes when he felt a boot come crashing into his back. "Oww," he groaned.
"We've got a live one," James heard a strange voice say, as he was picked up off of the ground roughly. James heard two pairs of feet running towards him quickly. He felt handcuffs being snapped on to him.
"Hey!" James shouted as he suddenly became alert. "I didn't do anything! You can't arrest me."
"We're not arresting you, son," he heard another voice say. "You're just gonna help us with a little experiment."
James felt a needle poke into his arm. He looked over to see a syringe full of purple liquid slowly draining into him. "Just relax, son," the second voice said. "It'll be over quickly." The last thing James saw before he drifted into unconsciousness was a dark metal roof.
_________________
Click here to go to my website/the official website of the game Tales of Melodia (yes it's an overused name)
Support Tales of Melodia and the team behind it at RPG Central! Buy from Play-Asia using this link!
Earn free stuff by completing offers. Yes, it really works, I got Tales of Legendia with this!
Last edited by lemeinthrigil on Sun Jan 27, 2008 9:48 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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ledious
Joined: 08 Sep 2007
Posts: 2738
Location: Columbus Ohio
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| Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2008 9:07 pm Post subject: |
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| lemeinthrigil wrote: | And here's...
Chapter 1
(or at least part of it)
James slowly opened his eyes to a dusty tan sky. Where am I? he thought. This has gotta be a dream. Maybe if I go back to sleep... He turned over to the side and was starting to close his eyes when he felt a boot come crashing into his back. "Oww," he groaned.
"We've got a live one," James heard a strange voice say, as he was picked up off of the ground roughly. James heard two pairs of feet running towards him quickly. He felt handcuffs being snapped on to him.
"Hey!" James shouted as he suddenly became alert. "I didn't do anything! You can't arrest me."
"We're not arresting you, son," he heard another voice say. "You're just gonna help us with a little experiment."
James felt a needle poke into his arm. He looked over to see a syringe full of purple liquid slowly draining into him. "Just relax, son," the second voice said. "It'll be over quickly." The last thing James saw before he drifted into unconsciousness was a dark metal roof. |
awww, is there more? your writing is good for what you have and now you have me excited to read more! 
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Soulfire Software
| Quote: | | Worms don't fight, they're peaceful loving people. They have 5 hearts. |
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Lotus
Joined: 21 Jan 2007
Posts: 5088
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| Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2008 9:11 pm Post subject: |
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| lemeinthrigil wrote: | And here's...
Chapter 1
(or at least part of it)
James slowly opened his eyes to a dusty tan sky. Where am I? he thought. This has gotta be a dream. Maybe if I go back to sleep... He turned over to the side and was starting to close his eyes when he felt a boot come crashing into his back. "Oww," he groaned.
"We've got a live one," James heard a strange voice say, as he was picked up off of the ground roughly. James heard two pairs of feet running towards him quickly. He felt handcuffs being snapped on to him.
"Hey!" James shouted as he suddenly became alert. "I didn't do anything! You can't arrest me."
"We're not arresting you, son," he heard another voice say. "You're just gonna help us with a little experiment."
James felt a needle poke into his arm. He looked over to see a syringe full of purple liquid slowly draining into him. "Just relax, son," the second voice said. "It'll be over quickly." The last thing James saw before he drifted into unconsciousness was a dark metal roof. |
It's decent.
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lemeinthrigil
Joined: 23 Jan 2008
Posts: 59
Location: My House
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| Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2008 9:36 pm Post subject: |
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Don't worry, I have more . And that reminds me...
Chapter 1
Part 2 of 3
For the second time that day, James opened his eyes. He could here the chatter of the people around him, but he couldn't seem to focus on just one, creating a jumble of words in his head. A distinct sentence came from the surrounding clatter: "Oh, good, she's awake."
She, James thought. I'm not a she.
James heard another distinct voice, and could barely make out the speaker: A man in a white coat. "She doesn't know what happened. Someone help her up."
James felt himself being dragged into a standing position. His eyes came into focus enough to see what looked like a mirror standing in front of him. Wait , that can't be a mirror, he thought. There's a little girl standing in front of me.
"That is a mirror in front of you." A man answered his unspoken question. "You've just become part of an experiment. Experiment C-142 to be exact."
The newly christened C-142 remained speechless as she was pulled into a small chair. The man who had been talking to her sat down in a chair about three feet away. "That body isn't real," the man said, again answering her deepest thoughts. "It's a mechanical body that we designed for military use. And you just became the first successful test subject."
"What happened to the others?" A small, surprisingly high voice came out from C-142's lips. She quickly covered her mouth. For some strange reason, she seemed afraid to speak out of turn.
"Don't worry, we won't hurt you for wondering. All little girls wonder."
"But I'm not -" C-142 was interrupted by a "shh" sound coming from the whitecoat sitting across from her. The man smiled and softly said, "You'll understand soon enough." He handed her some papers. "These are the details of your new body. Study them carefully in the next couple of hours. You can follow me to your new room. If you have any questions, please ask me now, since I probably won't see you again anytime soon."
"Actually," C-142 hesitated nervously. "Why did you give me the body of a 5 year old girl?"
The man chuckled. "I'd like to give you a good explanation, like "We wanted to see what these changes would do to you" or something. But, actually," At this point he scratched his head. "This was the only mechanical body we had left."
C-142 looked down, obviously troubled, as she followed the man to her new quarters. Even though the man had told her to speak her mind, she didn't feel like she could ask the question that was on her mind - why did they choose her?
_________________
Click here to go to my website/the official website of the game Tales of Melodia (yes it's an overused name)
Support Tales of Melodia and the team behind it at RPG Central! Buy from Play-Asia using this link!
Earn free stuff by completing offers. Yes, it really works, I got Tales of Legendia with this! |
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ledious
Joined: 08 Sep 2007
Posts: 2738
Location: Columbus Ohio
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| Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2008 9:42 pm Post subject: |
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| lemeinthrigil wrote: | Don't worry, I have more . And that reminds me...
Chapter 1
Part 2 of 3
For the second time that day, James opened his eyes. He could here the chatter of the people around him, but he couldn't seem to focus on just one, creating a jumble of words in his head. A distinct sentence came from the surrounding clatter: "Oh, good, she's awake."
She, James thought. I'm not a she.
James heard another distinct voice, and could barely make out the speaker: A man in a white coat. "She doesn't know what happened. Someone help her up."
James felt himself being dragged into a standing position. His eyes came into focus enough to see what looked like a mirror standing in front of him. Wait , that can't be a mirror, he thought. There's a little girl standing in front of me.
"That is a mirror in front of you." A man answered his unspoken question. "You've just become part of an experiment. Experiment C-142 to be exact."
The newly christened C-142 remained speechless as she was pulled into a small chair. The man who had been talking to her sat down in a chair about three feet away. "That body isn't real," the man said, again answering her deepest thoughts. "It's a mechanical body that we designed for military use. And you just became the first successful test subject."
"What happened to the others?" A small, surprisingly high voice came out from C-142's lips. She quickly covered her mouth. For some strange reason, she seemed afraid to speak out of turn.
"Don't worry, we won't hurt you for wondering. All little girls wonder."
"But I'm not -" C-142 was interrupted by a "shh" sound coming from the whitecoat sitting across from her. The man smiled and softly said, "You'll understand soon enough." He handed her some papers. "These are the details of your new body. Study them carefully in the next couple of hours. You can follow me to your new room. If you have any questions, please ask me now, since I probably won't see you again anytime soon."
"Actually," C-142 hesitated nervously. "Why did you give me the body of a 5 year old girl?"
The man chuckled. "I'd like to give you a good explanation, like "We wanted to see what these changes would do to you" or something. But, actually," At this point he scratched his head. "This was the only mechanical body we had left."
C-142 looked down, obviously troubled, as she followed the man to her new quarters. Even though the man had told her to speak her mind, she didn't feel like she could ask the question that was on her mind - why did they choose her? |
thats better, very nice! ^_^ keep posting more
_________________
~sig by me ^_^
Creative Director;
Soulfire Software
| Quote: | | Worms don't fight, they're peaceful loving people. They have 5 hearts. |
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lemeinthrigil
Joined: 23 Jan 2008
Posts: 59
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Lotus
Joined: 21 Jan 2007
Posts: 5088
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| Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2008 10:26 pm Post subject: |
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| lemeinthrigil wrote: | Don't worry, I have more . And that reminds me...
Chapter 1
Part 2 of 3
For the second time that day, James opened his eyes. He could here the chatter of the people around him, but he couldn't seem to focus on just one, creating a jumble of words in his head. A distinct sentence came from the surrounding clatter: "Oh, good, she's awake."
She, James thought. I'm not a she.
James heard another distinct voice, and could barely make out the speaker: A man in a white coat. "She doesn't know what happened. Someone help her up."
James felt himself being dragged into a standing position. His eyes came into focus enough to see what looked like a mirror standing in front of him. Wait , that can't be a mirror, he thought. There's a little girl standing in front of me.
"That is a mirror in front of you." A man answered his unspoken question. "You've just become part of an experiment. Experiment C-142 to be exact."
The newly christened C-142 remained speechless as she was pulled into a small chair. The man who had been talking to her sat down in a chair about three feet away. "That body isn't real," the man said, again answering her deepest thoughts. "It's a mechanical body that we designed for military use. And you just became the first successful test subject."
"What happened to the others?" A small, surprisingly high voice came out from C-142's lips. She quickly covered her mouth. For some strange reason, she seemed afraid to speak out of turn.
"Don't worry, we won't hurt you for wondering. All little girls wonder."
"But I'm not -" C-142 was interrupted by a "shh" sound coming from the whitecoat sitting across from her. The man smiled and softly said, "You'll understand soon enough." He handed her some papers. "These are the details of your new body. Study them carefully in the next couple of hours. You can follow me to your new room. If you have any questions, please ask me now, since I probably won't see you again anytime soon."
"Actually," C-142 hesitated nervously. "Why did you give me the body of a 5 year old girl?"
The man chuckled. "I'd like to give you a good explanation, like "We wanted to see what these changes would do to you" or something. But, actually," At this point he scratched his head. "This was the only mechanical body we had left."
C-142 looked down, obviously troubled, as she followed the man to her new quarters. Even though the man had told her to speak her mind, she didn't feel like she could ask the question that was on her mind - why did they choose her? |
When I read this, call I can think about is Xenosage.
Its good but there's too many of like, "this man", "this voice", "the other men", "a whisper" and you get confused, well at least for me. You should just give them a fake name or something and find out later.
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lemeinthrigil
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lemeinthrigil
Joined: 23 Jan 2008
Posts: 59
Location: My House
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| Posted: Mon Jan 28, 2008 12:54 am Post subject: |
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Chapter 1
Part 3 of 3
Walking down the hallway, her hand clutched tightly by the man whom she had been conversing with earlier, C-142 shuffled through papers, looking for every detail of her new body.
"Height: 3 feet, 8 inches," she read aloud. "Gender: Female. Weight: 35 pounds. Hair: Blond. Eyes: Deep Blue. Wow, it's like reading a textbook, except more interesting and about myself."
The man pulled her aside and towards what looked like the door to a hotel room. "This is your room," he explained. "Now, before I go, do you have any more questions?"
"Sure," answered C-142. "What's your name?"
Taken aback, the man blushed and replied, "James. James...Mengele."
"James...wait, that used to be my name!" C-142 exclaimed. "And Mengele was the name of that doctor in the Holocaust. What was his name... I think it was Josef?"
"You knew my father?" James asked excitedly.
"No, he was a doctor who performed experiments on people," C-142 replied. "He disappeared a long time ago."
"Then maybe he got back to this world!" Seeing the amazed look on C-142's face, he quickly replied, "I'll tell you about it some other time. Right now, you need to get some sleep. Here," he said, pulling a plug out her back. "Plug this in to an outlet and go to sleep. You'll feel perfect by morning."
An amazed C-142, clutching the plug that James had given her, walked into her room and closed the door behind her. As the door was about to shut completely, she whispered, "Good night."
Smiling at her as if she had just given him the most wonderful present ever, he whispered back, "Good night" and closed the door softly, leaving C-142 by herself.
_________________
Click here to go to my website/the official website of the game Tales of Melodia (yes it's an overused name)
Support Tales of Melodia and the team behind it at RPG Central! Buy from Play-Asia using this link!
Earn free stuff by completing offers. Yes, it really works, I got Tales of Legendia with this!
Last edited by lemeinthrigil on Mon Jan 28, 2008 11:31 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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ledious
Joined: 08 Sep 2007
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Location: Columbus Ohio
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| Posted: Mon Jan 28, 2008 3:27 am Post subject: |
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| lemeinthrigil wrote: | | Thanks! I actually came up with the main story one night while I was lying in bed, since that's where I often come up with stories. If you want to know my strategy for writing, it's to imagine that you are the character, with all of their backstory, characteristics, etc. This gives you a realistic response. |
hahaha thats how I do it too, put on some "epic" sounding music and the images just flow through my head. sometimes ill get up at like 3 in the morning to write down what I just thought up ^_^
_________________
~sig by me ^_^
Creative Director;
Soulfire Software
| Quote: | | Worms don't fight, they're peaceful loving people. They have 5 hearts. |
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lemeinthrigil
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Lotus
Joined: 21 Jan 2007
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| Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 10:51 pm Post subject: |
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Whhaaaaaat!? James was turned into a robot girl, lol.
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lemeinthrigil
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