Tales of Cadence
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Obligatory favorite character poll.
Raven Sendemere
25%
 25%  [ 15 ]
Elsynne Neott
5%
 5%  [ 3 ]
Skylar Marridor
6%
 6%  [ 4 ]
Felix Dragomir
22%
 22%  [ 13 ]
Stephen Rosner
20%
 20%  [ 12 ]
Ilia Ruden
3%
 3%  [ 2 ]
Cymbeline
15%
 15%  [ 9 ]
Total Votes : 58

Author Message
Roadie



Joined: 05 Jan 2007
Posts: 12035
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 5:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Kevvie: I had to type it up from my notebook, so I was forced to read it. I cried the entire time. Crying or Very sad

Okay now, this is going to be a completely useless update, but:

I FINISHED WRITING THE LAST CHAPTER OF TALES OF CADENCE. I'M FINISHED!

akjskd **** yeah Roadie leaves no story unfinished

Sixteen months of work and the writing portion of the main story is finally complete. <3 Expect no delays in the posting of chapters. Smile

Now someone please post something so I don't have to double post tomorrow. :')
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Sediea



Joined: 19 Feb 2007
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 5:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Roadie wrote:
I FINISHED WRITING THE LAST CHAPTER OF TALES OF CADENCE. I'M FINISHED!

akjskd **** yeah Roadie leaves no story unfinished

Sixteen months of work and the writing portion of the main story is finally complete. <3 Expect no delays in the posting of chapters. Smile

Hooray!! Very Happy

Another story complete. Congratulations, Midna. ^_^
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Fernard



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PostPosted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 5:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

@Kevvie: G.I. JOOOOOOOOE~! *shot as well*

@Roadie: *joygasms* Congrats, Roadie~! <3
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Kevvie



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PostPosted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 5:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Roadie wrote:
Kevvie: I had to type it up from my notebook, so I was forced to read it. I cried the entire time. Crying or Very sad


Tears of joy, I know. The one shot was just that good. Smile

WHOOOOO CONGRATS ROADRUNNUH! WHOOSH CONFETTI

Looking forward to the upcoming chapters! Very Happy
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wolfeyes



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PostPosted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 5:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Roadie wrote:


I FINISHED WRITING THE LAST CHAPTER OF TALES OF CADENCE. I'M FINISHED!

akjskd **** yeah Roadie leaves no story unfinished

Sixteen months of work and the writing portion of the main story is finally complete. <3 Expect no delays in the posting of chapters. Smile

Now someone please post something so I don't have to double post tomorrow. :')


Major congrats, Roadie^^. That makes two complete, well-written stories~
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Desmond the Patient



Joined: 30 May 2008
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Location: Cheese, cheese, and some more of cheese...

PostPosted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 7:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Roadie wrote:
Kevvie: I had to type it up from my notebook, so I was forced to read it. I cried the entire time. Crying or Very sad

Okay now, this is going to be a completely useless update, but:

I FINISHED WRITING THE LAST CHAPTER OF TALES OF CADENCE. I'M FINISHED!

akjskd **** yeah Roadie leaves no story unfinished

Sixteen months of work and the writing portion of the main story is finally complete. <3 Expect no delays in the posting of chapters. Smile

Now someone please post something so I don't have to double post tomorrow. :')
Wow!! It feels like a travel of many years came to an end! *sniff*

Roadie, how do you feel now that you finally finished Tales of Cadence?
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KK Twain



Joined: 26 Jul 2005
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 8:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Congrats Roadie! (Also, excellent sidestory.)

So, how many more chapters are left to post?
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Sir Shrek



Joined: 23 Apr 2008
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 9:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Roadie wrote:
I FINISHED WRITING THE LAST CHAPTER OF TALES OF CADENCE. I'M FINISHED!

akjskd **** yeah Roadie leaves no story unfinished


Yeah babe. Wink Have we told you yet that you are amazing? Thats the way, Midnight. (God, I've so gotten used to Roadie.)
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Toku



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PostPosted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 10:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Congratulations, Roadie!

That's two for two! You must feel really accomplished right now!
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Gamestop



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PostPosted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 12:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Whopeee

Congrats darling.
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taslin-jewelofglacia



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PostPosted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 9:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Congratulations, Miss Roadie! Very Happy This proves that you are an awesome and dedicated person who finishes what you start. Can't wait to read the rest of it!
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Swordmaster69



Joined: 14 Apr 2005
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 02, 2009 5:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Roadie wrote:
Kevvie: I had to type it up from my notebook, so I was forced to read it. I cried the entire time. Crying or Very sad

Okay now, this is going to be a completely useless update, but:

I FINISHED WRITING THE LAST CHAPTER OF TALES OF CADENCE. I'M FINISHED!

akjskd **** yeah Roadie leaves no story unfinished

Sixteen months of work and the writing portion of the main story is finally complete. <3 Expect no delays in the posting of chapters. Smile

Now someone please post something so I don't have to double post tomorrow. :')


OMFGGG!! You finished it?!?! So now no more delays!! I wish you could post all the chapters today but I know how much you love to keep us in suspense. Congrats Roadie!!!
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Roadie



Joined: 05 Jan 2007
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 02, 2009 8:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks so much, everyone. <3 The next few weeks of posting should be a little smoother now that I'm not spending too much time writing. Smile And thank you all so much for sticking with me for so long! I really appreciate everyone's support. <3 It really means a lot to me.

Desmond: It feels like a relief to have a big story done, but at the same time I feel weird. :') I'm used to firing up my laptop every night to write and now it's time for a nice, relaxing break...with FE DS and P4.

KK Twain: I'm glad you enjoyed the oneshot! Smile I'm posting the 58th chapter today, and there are 67 total (not counting the epilogue) so it'll be about nine weeks before the last chapter is posted.


And now for the (crappy craptastic terrible awful boring etc) crapter of the week. Wink I think I wrote this one while I was in a slump, so I did my best to clean it up and all that jazz.


Chapter LVIII


Cymbeline hopped neatly off the deck of the ship and landed on all fours in the cool water below. Raven and his companions climbed down the ladder at a much slower, safer pace than the dragonling, who was already sprinting up the beach.

“Slow down, would you?” Raven said, holding up his hand to shield his eyes from the hot sun. The air here seemed warmer and drier than it was in Austror and even Lavinia; beads of sweat were already forming on his brow.

“What’s got her all excited?” Ilia asked as they waded through the shallows. The others trailed behind them with Elsynne at the rear of the group, who still staring absently at the shore ahead.

“This is my home!” Cymbeline replied, shifting her weight anxiously from one foot to the other. “I come here all the time when Ophelia doesn’t have work for me!”

“Really?” Stephen said. “That must be pretty rare.”

The dragonling shook her head, still smiling. “No, not at all. Ophelia lets me come here a lot to visit my friends.”

“F-Friends?” Ilia stammered. “Ooh, I almost forgot about all the packs of dragonlings out here…I’m definitely not looking forward to meeting them.”

“Don’t worry. My friends won’t hurt you, I promise.”

Felix turned to Stephen and grinned. “I wonder if we’ll see those dragonlings from Snowcap here?”

“I doubt it,” the older man replied with a shake of his head. “They looked like they weren’t going anywhere anytime soon. They barely remembered their own names.”

“You met dragonlings on Snowcap?” Raven asked.

“Yeah, while Felix and I were fixing up the ship. They came and helped us out while the rest of you were trying to find Shanic.”

So, we’re supposed to be finding out where Rem is,” Harriette interrupted, casting a testy glare in Stephen and Felix’s direction. “Do you have any idea where we’re supposed to go?”

Cymbeline put a clawed finger to her chin, staring thoughtfully at a slow-moving cloud overhead. “Hm…I don’t know. I haven’t heard much about Rem myself. I just know he’s here on this continent.”

“And we’re back to square one,” Felix said with a defeated sigh.

“Hold on, I think I’ve got an idea,” Harriette said, quickly motioning for their silence. “Someone try summoning their Spirit. They might know something.”

“The Spirits?” Ilia repeated, tilting her head softly to the side. “Do you think they’ll be able to sense Rem?”

“It’s worth a try, isn’t it?”

Stephen held out his hands. “I’ll summon Evadne and Fiametta,” he offered as two luminescent spheres of light materialized in his open palms.

“And I’ve got-“ Felix suddenly stopped himself and drew back from the rest of the group, his eyes lowered to the sandy ground. “N-Never mind…”

Elsynne looked questioningly at her cousin. “What about Rhett? Can’t you summon him as well, Felix?”

The boy shook his head. “No. I’ve…I’ve lost my pact with Rhett,” he murmured. The shame was written clearly on his young face when he lifted his head and looked back at her.

“How’d you break your-” Raven paused in mid-sentence when he saw Elsynne’s hasty glance in his direction; it seemed to be a question he was going to have to save for a more appropriate time. The rapidly growing curiosity, however, still gnawed incessantly at the back of his mind.

Stephen’s two elemental Spirits—Evadne and Fiametta, lightning and fire—reappeared before them. “What is it you need?” Evadne asked, blinking slowly as she spoke.

“We need to know where we can find Rem,” Stephen said.

“Rem.” The Spirit hesitated pensively for several tense seconds before she finally replied. “I can sense him here…”

“Just faintly,” Fiametta added. “Not enough to be able to properly pinpoint his direction. Actually, it’s kind of weird…it’s like I can sense more than one of him. I don’t really understand it.”

“I’m surprised we can sense him at all, honestly. He must be here, though… I haven’t sensed him this clearly on any other continent you’ve summoned me to.”

“But how are we going to find him if no one can really find him?” Ilia asked. “I mean, we know he’s here, but that doesn’t really help.”

“We can always go to the gathering place,” Cymbeline suggested eagerly. “All the dragonlings go there. You’ll get to meet my friends!”

“Will any of your…er, friends even know about Rem?” Harriette asked as the elemental Spirits behind her slowly dissipated at Stephen’s command.

“Maybe. Probably,” the dragonling replied with a halfhearted shrug.

“We don’t have much of a choice, do we…? Take us to this gathering place of yours.”

Cymbeline’s grin widened and she spun around, pointing toward the dusty riverbed only a few feet away from the beach. Raven could see sets of footprints running up the dirt, trampling the parched embankment down into a trail.

“Just follow the dry river. It’ll take you right to the meeting spot,” the dragonling insisted. “We always use this path to get there.”

Raven followed Cymbeline and the others to the riverbed, quietly surveying the new landscape as he walked. A dry, gentle wind rattled the brown leaves from dying vegetation as yellow grass rustled all around them. Most of the countryside seemed barren, but beyond the miles of prairie land, Raven could see tall, russet mountains in the distance.

“Are you sure you remember where we’re supposed to go?” Felix asked Cymbeline tentatively.

The dragonling gave him a confident nod. “None of us ever forget about it. Plus, I’ve been here enough times to memorize it. Just like sailing!”

“Yeah, I was kind of wondering how you managed to figure out sailing…”

Raven ignored their senseless chatter and stared back up at the sky; everything was tinged a soft purple—the clouds, the sky itself, and even the sun. He could still smell the cloying, sickening scent in the air—it made him feel stronger, but at the same time-

Ilia put a hand on his elbow, breaking off his train of thought once more. “What’s wrong? You’re looking a little worse for wear.”

“Maybe it’s the seasickness,” Stephen suggested casually. “But now that I think about it, you did a lot better on this trip than you have in the past, Raven.”

Raven put a hand to his head and massaged his temples. “It’s not seasickness. I think it might be all the black magic.”

Harriette narrowed her eyes. “If you start to feel strange, like you did when you were possessed, please let us know ahead of time. Okay?”

“Yeah, I will,” Raven replied, sneaking a quick glance at Elsynne. She was staring at him from the corner of her eye, her hands clasped anxiously at her side.

Cymbeline gave them a quick smirk and led them up the dry riverbed, humming to herself as they passed the dull scenery. The riverbed reminded Raven of a small canyon—earthen walls rose up on either side of them, just barely tall enough to block out his view of the world above; he could only see the skeletal trees and the indigo-dyed sky overhead.

“How far is this gathering place?” Ilia asked, brushing pale dust from her eyes. “I feel weird being trapped in here if I know Skylar might be wandering around…”

“Not too far, really,” Cymbeline said, gazing at them over her shoulder. “It’s a quick walk!”

“For a dragonling, maybe,” Harriette whispered contemptuously. She lightly held her older sister’s hand, struggling as she tripped over a small pile of rocks.

“Look how smooth these are,” Stephen said, bending over to pick one up. He rolled the gray stone around the palm of his hand before he held it up to the light. “Only river stones get this even.”

“Well, obviously. Cymbeline did say water ran through here, you idiot,” Raven retorted.

Stephen smiled cheerfully and tossed the rock up in the air. It flew over the jagged walls and landed somewhere on the surface.

“Showoff,” Ilia muttered under her breath.

They traveled in the arid heat for what felt like hours before Raven’s half-elven ears finally picked up the muffled sound of low, guttural voices. “Look,” Ilia suddenly said, nudging at something with her foot. Raven followed her gaze and saw a thin trickle of water running past her boots.

“There’s a very, very small pond up ahead. We gather near it on days like this. Come on, this means we’re getting closer!” Cymbeline said, already breaking into a run.

“Hey!” Felix protested. He mumbled something to himself and took off after the dragonling with Ilia by his side.

“It’s too hot for this,” Stephen said, putting a hand to his clammy forehead. “It almost makes me wish we were back on Libra. I prefer that kind of climate.”

“Cold and rainy? No thanks,” Raven said with a scowl. He turned away from the tired inventor and followed the rest of the party up the makeshift trail. Sure enough, he could see a shallow, green pool at the end of the path—Cymbeline was standing in water up to her ankles with Felix and Ilia both climbing out of the riverbed and up to the level, sun-baked land above.

“This way!” Ilia said as she carefully reached for the top. “Don’t worry, it’s easy!”

“I wonder what kind of dragonlings we’ll meet in this gathering place she was talking about,” Harriette said as Elsynne grasped her hand tighter and helped her up the rocky wall. “Will they be aggressive?”

“I hope not,” Stephen murmured. He cursed under his breath as his foot slipped out from beneath him, showering Raven with a cascade of loose pebbles. Raven sputtered and coughed as a few of them tumbled past and struck him in the face.

“Sorry, Raven,” Stephen said sheepishly. He grabbed the edge and pulled himself up with a grunt of effort.

Raven snarled an oath under his breath and clambered after him, grabbing uselessly at the tightly-packed dirt. He felt himself slipping backward; he was never going to make it to the surface at this rate. Why couldn’t they just walk alongside the riverbed, anyway? Why did Cymbeline have to make this so damned difficult? Why-

A slender hand suddenly took his. “Come on, you’re taking forever.”

Raven’s head snapped up; he was so surprised by Ophelia’s voice that he almost let go of her hand and toppled backward. The pale woman smirked and easily pulled him up.

“Looks like the whole gang’s back together again,” she said as she let go of his hand. Arngon stood at her side, his arms folded neatly over his chest.

“How’d you find us?” Stephen asked, unable to hide the obvious enthusiasm in his tone.

“Skylar led Arngon and me here,” she replied matter-of-factly. “Actually, the rumors did. He’s supposed to be out in this direction, if my sources are correct.”

“That’s what his sister told us too,” Elsynne said. “But we saw him in Estershore just a while ago…”

“Estershore? What was he doing out there?”

“You didn’t hear about what happened out there?” Felix asked, peeking quickly at Elsynne.

“No,” Ophelia said, frowning inquisitively. “I’ve been out at sea for weeks…and I had to go back to Libra for a while. Long story.”

“The black magic fissure in Austror went crazy and spread into the city,” Stephen said gravely. “Estershore was destroyed.”

“Really?! My gods…this is a lot worse than I thought. That damn ceremony…”

Elsynne looked away, wincing at the harshness of Ophelia’s words. “I’m sorry…”

“It’s fine, Elsynne,” Felix assured her weakly, although he didn’t sound as certain now. The boy seemed tired and worn out; with a weary sigh of his own, Raven realized that they probably all were after everything that had transpired in the last couple of weeks.

It’s really getting to be too much now…

“But, in any case…” Ophelia sighed and put a hand to her forehead. “What brings you all the way out here? Is Skylar supposed to be coming back, or…?”

“Rem,” Harriette replied. “We’re looking for the Spirit, Rem. He’s supposed to be resting on Eus-Aen.”

“Forming a pact with him will help us reseal the cracks,” Elsynne added quietly, still staring distantly at the horizon. “That’s why I need to find him.”

“Hmm. I hope that little plan of yours works out,” Ophelia said before she turned to Cymbeline. “But why did you lead them to the dragonling gathering spot?”

“I thought my friends could help us,” Cymbeline responded.

“Oh, good luck with that. They’re very temperamental now—all the black magic in the air is messing with their heads.”

“Er…” Felix fidgeted uneasily. “How many dragonlings are there?”

“Quite a few. Not too many, of course, but enough to rip you to pieces if you do something wrong.”

“How…interesting,” Harriette murmured. “Is it all right if we meet with them now? I’m tired of just standing out here in this awful heat.”

“Yes! Let’s go!” Cymbeline said, pumping a fist in the air. “Come with me, everyone!”

Ophelia shook her head and joined Raven and Elsynne in the back of the group. “I met with them a while ago, and they wouldn’t tell me a thing,” she explained. “I really don’t think now is the best time to meet with the dragonlings.”

“We need their help as soon as possible,” Elsynne said. “I need to find Rem. I don’t want anymore towns or cities to end up like Estershore because of what I did.”

“Were you asking them about Skylar?” Raven asked.

“Yes,” Ophelia said as she brushed limp hair behind her ear. “I was hoping they’d know something, but none of them really wanted to speak with me. They refused to say to Arngon, too. Not that he can talk, but if they could tell him in their own language, we could’ve worked something out,” she said, motioning to Arngon. He huffed noiselessly and closed his eyes.

“I hope they’ll speak to us,” Elsynne said softly.

“Who knows? Maybe they like Cymbeline more than they liked her brother.”

Raven could still hear the faint murmur of low voices ahead, just beyond several clumps of brown, lifeless bushes. He instinctively clutched the hilt of the sword at his waist; the sound of the dragonlings only reminded him of the time he and Elsynne had nearly died at their claws before Skylar came to their rescue.

Ophelia grabbed him roughly by the shoulder. “Don’t do that,” she hissed as they drew closer to the brush. “You’ll make them angry, and then they will attack you.”

Raven reluctantly took his hand from his sword and held it stiffly at his side, his gaze set decisively ahead. ‘Those were just Skylar’s dragonlings that time, anyway,’ he tried to remind himself. ‘These dragonlings aren’t under anyone’s orders.

Ophelia took her hand from his shoulder and moved to the front of the group. “Don’t do anything stupid, all right?” she said. “The dragonlings out here are generally more easy-going than the ones you’ve met before, but still…it would be best not to test them.”

“We’ll be fine,” Harriette told her. “We just need to ask them about Rem.”

Ophelia shrugged uneasily and beckoned Arngon closer. Together, the two of them pushed through the bushes and into the small, dusty grove ahead. Raven could hear the voices grow louder before Ophelia quickly shushed them.

“Let’s go in next,” Elsynne said. Raven turned and saw her staring at the ground, nervously kicking a lump of dirt with the toe of her boot.

“All right,” he agreed, letting her grab his arm. He moved slowly into the tall bushes, his heart beating so loudly he thought it would crash through his chest. And, at the moment, he almost hoped that it would—anything that could get him out of this situation would’ve been very welcome.

The spindly bushes scratched and tore at his skin, scoring several lines of red across his face and hands. Elsynne winced and drew closer beside him, still carefully conscious of the distance between them. Raven glanced at her only for a moment before they broke through the thorny wall.

A group of dragonlings—Raven hastily counted fourteen—stood before them in a loose semi-circle. The chatter he had picked up only moments before was completely dead; now he could only hear the scuffle of his friends gathering behind him and a hot wind pulling at the bony tree branches overhead. Raven took one slow, deep breath when the shuffling stopped and everyone else joined them in the clearing.

None of the dragonlings dared to speak for a very long time. They seemed to be sizing them up, visually scanning each individual member of the group from head to toe. Raven swallowed self-consciously and squared his shoulders, fighting the overwhelming urge to protectively grab the weapon at his waist.

One of the dragonlings—a wide, hard-muscled male—finally took a bold step forward and hissed something in another language before he sarcastically spat, “More humans. Just what we need.”

A murmur of agreement rose up from the dark-skinned crowd. “Why are there so many? Are they one of those killing parties?” a curious female asked, her gold eyes wide.

“I doubt it,” another said harshly.

“How strange!”

“Very different.”

“I…I don’t think many of them have left Eus-Aen before,” Ilia whispered under her breath, just loud enough for Raven to catch.

“Humans in a group this large still can’t be good,” the tallest male said, folding his thick arms over his chest. “I’ve been to the mainland. They hunt and kill us there, just like those armored hunting parties do here.”

Another murmur—this time one of fear—rippled through the group, and many of the dragonlings took defensive stances, sinking low to the ground with their fists outstretched.

“Wait!” Cymbeline jumped into the center of the circle and threw out her hands. “Wait, please! These are my friends!”

One of the females straightened up ever so slightly. “Your friends? I didn’t know you had human friends besides Ophelia.”

“These people are all good. They just want to ask you a few questions. They aren’t killers, I promise.”

“We’re not going to hurt anyone,” Felix said.

The tall male suddenly burst forward, small plumes of fire burning at the tips of his fingers. Raven ignored Ophelia’s protest and instinctively drew his sword as the dragonling advanced. Cymbeline and Arngon pushed in front of Raven and Elsynne, throwing themselves at the angry dragonling to restrain him.

“I told you not to draw your weapon! You’ve completely ruined our chances now!” Ophelia said.

“He looked like he was going to fight us!” Raven protested irritably. “What else could I do? Just stand here and let him attack?”

“That dragonling is considered to be the ‘leader’ of this area. Attacking him would’ve been a terrible idea—you don’t want to fight all these dragonlings at once, do you?”

Elsynne’s eyes widened. “I thought the dragonlings didn’t have any leaders like that.”

“Technically, they have no leaders, but…” Ophelia paused as the dragonling finally calmed down and allowed Cymbeline and Arngon to step aside. “He commands a lot of respect. He’s very strong amongst these dragonlings, and very influential.”

Raven threw his sword back in the sheath at his waist, silently regretting his decision to draw the weapon at all. The lead dragonling only glared at him, his hands tightening into powerful fists.

“We don’t want any trouble with you. Go back to the mainland,” he said. “You’ve destroyed the world enough, haven’t you?”

“Destroyed the world…?” Stephen repeated.

“We heard about this ‘ceremony’ from Ophelia. We’ve felt the earthquakes here, and we’ve seen how the sky changes color. The black magic will consume us all…”

Elsynne gasped, shamefully burying her hands in her face. “I didn’t know it would happen…!”

The dragonling glowered at her, his jaw set, but he said nothing.

“We want to know where Rem is so we can fix the problem,” Felix insisted. “That’s why we came here. We didn’t want to start a fight or…d-destroy the world.”

“We’re here on peaceful terms,” Stephen added amicably.

The dragonling considered them for a moment, his eyes closed as he put a clawed hand to the side of his face. Raven waited impatiently; this was taking much longer than he was hoping it would.

A long, loud cry suddenly tore through the tense silence. Raven looked up at the nearby hill, just in time to see a pair of thin, lithe dragonlings jumping gracefully down the side of the knoll.

“A boat is coming from the northwest,” one of them said.

“A human boat,” its companion added.

“An extermination team from Austror?” Ilia gasped. “Why would they send out one of those now? I thought Lukas said he was going to put an end to those stupid hunting groups!”

The dragonling leader swung around, ignoring Ilia’s rant. “How many humans were there?” he demanded.

“There was…only one, actually,” the messenger replied. He cocked his head and nodded at the hill. “We can get rid of him easily if he causes trouble.”

Raven exchanged a look with Ilia, who shrugged. “I don’t know who it could be,” she replied honestly. “Unless Lukas himself-“

She didn’t need to say anymore. Raven disregarded Ilia’s objection and ran to the hill, slipping only once as he climbed up the slight rise. His hands scrabbled against the dirt and he skinned the tips of his fingers but he kept moving, coming to a stop only when he reached the summit.

A scorching wind hit his face; he reluctantly closed his eyes, blinking back a few tears from his dry eyes. Raven held a hand to his forehead and squinted—he could see the shimmering ocean in the distance, only a half mile from where he stood. A single human—Raven could tell it was male, judging by its height and posture—was walking away from the small ship that was docked in the shallows.

Raven blinked again to clear the moisture from his eyes and recognized the figure instantly.

“Lukas!”
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Last edited by Roadie on Mon Mar 02, 2009 11:34 am; edited 1 time in total
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Kevvie



Joined: 19 Sep 2006
Posts: 458
Location: RONONKONOKOMA

PostPosted: Mon Mar 02, 2009 10:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Chapterrific! Surprised

Great chapter obv, stop lying to yourself. Wink The next chapter should be excitin'. Another fight with Lukas maybe? Can't wait! Smile
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Toku



Joined: 08 Dec 2007
Posts: 2275
Location: ★NO RUNNING →

PostPosted: Mon Mar 02, 2009 11:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I feel like I’m just being nit-picky but…

Quote:
“Skylar lead Arngon and I here,” she replied matter-of-factly. “Actually, the rumors did. He’s supposed to be out in this direction, if my sources are correct.”


A shift in tense or a typo. Led, perhaps? And I'm not sure but shouldn't the "I" be a "me"?

Quote:
Raven threw his sword back in the sheathe at his waist...


Wrong sheath... Confused The one you spelled is the verb, not the noun...

Besides those minor blemishes, woo hoo, way to go!

I liked how you got to see a lot more of Cymbeline in this chapter since there was kind of a focus on her. Foreshadowing was nice too. I wonder what the group is going to say/do to Lucas….
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