The Big Switch (End 29th of July)

[Meowzy]

This one is gonna be fairly long, so I figured I'd start a new topic for it.

So, I bet you're all wondering what the heck this is. Well, it's another big game spoof, sorta like Switch Glitch, only less detailed. Also, instead of switching only Yuan and Kratos, I've decided to switch most of the main characters. Therefore, you will now witness how the Grand Cardinals (and a few other Cruxis members) go through the Journey of Regeneration! Because they need more love. ^^'

The general idea was sparked by Vanyel_Ashkevron. It has inside jokes to Switch Glitch, other Meowzy fics and Solez's Spoof Central.
Set pairings; ForcystusxPronyma and Yuan/Kratos. The rest is up for debate. Don't complain if you don't like guy/guy or girl/girl.

Enjoy!

~~~~~~~

The Big Switch
Part one.

*it was a wonderful day in Iselia. Not just any day. The day of the Oracle. So we now join our heroes in the classroom, on what would be their first official day of world saving*
Kvar's voice: ... Forcystus! Forcystus, wake up!
*Forcystus is standing in the back of the class*
Forcystus: I wasn't sleeping, professor Kvar!
Kvar: Don't talk back to me, kid! Just for that, you receive a boot to the head!
Forcystus: A what?
*Kvar throws a boot into Forcystus' face*
Forcystus: ... Ow...
Kvar: Let's have someone else answer the question, because Forcystus is obviously too inferior. Rodyle, how about you?
Rodyle: Certainly. *gets to his feet* "And the goddess raised her hands to the sky, and a great flood washed away the sinners who-"
Kvar: Wrong page, Rodyle. We're talking about the World Regeneration, you inferior midget.
Rodyle: I happen to like the Great Floodening better, okay?!
Kvar: Jeez! Why am I stuck teaching such inferior morons?
*someone raises their hand*
Kvar: ... Yes, Pronyma?
Pronyma: It's almost time for me to save the world! May I be excused? *gets to her feet*
Kvar: It's not time until the light of Oracle blinds us. So sit down and be quiet.
*Pronyma sits down again and crosses her arms, muttering under her breath*
Kvar: Right. Now, who can tell me-
*a bright light, originating from Colette Temple, shoots into the sky, momentarily blinding everyone*
Pronyma: Hah! That's my cue. *gets to her feet* So long, suckers. I'll see you when I'm famous.
Kvar: So much for my authority...
Forcystus: Pronyma, wait!
Pronyma: What is it, worm?
Forcystus: Can I come with you?
Rodyle: Me too! Me too!
Pronyma: What? Why?
Forcystus: I want to see what the angels look like!
Rodyle: It's research! Muahahahahah!
Pronyma: Fine, I suppose I could use you two as bait if I get into any trouble. You may come.
Forcystus: Hurray!
Rodyle: ... Bait? Did she just say bait?!
*Pronyma leaves the classroom. Forcystus and Rodyle follow*
Random classmate: Professor Kvar, can we go as well?
Kvar: NO! Be quiet, inferior slaves!
Random classmate: Awwww.....

*and so, Forcystus, Pronyma and Rodyle arrive at Colette Temple*
Forcystus: Why are there so many creepy monsters out here? It's quite disturbing.
Pronyma: Silence!
Rodyle: Hey, look, isn't that one of the priests?
*a random priest comes falling down the stairs*
Forcystus: Hey, are you alright?!
Pronyma: Don't cease your inferior breathing!
Priest: C-Chosen One... The Desians... You must... Guh.
Rodyle: Oh, he's died. Wonderful! Eheheh…
*the three walk up the stairs, to see two Desians and a snobby-looking guy threatening an old lady*
Remiel: Tell us where the Chosen is! Or else!
Phaidra: No! Never! ... *looks past Remiel to see Pronyma* Oh, Chosen One, there you are. We were just talking about you.
Pronyma: Damn you, granny! *shoots Phaidra*
Remiel: Alright Chosen, the gig is up. Die peacefully, or we will be forced to kill you.
Pronyma: Over my dead body!
Rodyle: That was awfully redundant, wasn't it?
Pronyma: Shut it, wise ass!
Remiel: If you won't surrender, we'll have to pull out the big guns!
*Remiel snaps his fingers, and Vidarr appears, swinging a large mace*
Rodyle: Wow, that's a really big man. Excellent! *cackles*
Remiel: I’ll kill you, and then I’ll be Renegade leader instead of the Renegade leader!
Rodyle: What’s a Renegade leader?
Forcystus: Leave this to me! *pets his cannon arm* I'll protect you, Pronyma.
Pronyma: *files her nails* Be my guest, worm.
*Forcystus charges forward to battle Vidarr, while Rodyle supports him with magic spells. Still, they are losing spectacularly*
Rodyle: Aargh, this guy is simply too big. Our attacks are barely hurting him.
Forcystus: Must... not... give up...
*Kratos comes running and blocks Vidarr's mace*
Kratos: Are you alright? Hm... No one seems to be harmed.
Pronyma: W-wow! Who's that guy?
Rodyle: He looks strong. Much stronger than you, Forcystus.
Forcystus: Humph. Yeah right.
*Kratos defeats Vidarr with one blow*
Forcystus: ... Okay, maybe he is just a little bit stronger.
Kratos: Well, that takes care of that. *sheathes his sword* Blame your fate and all that.
Remiel: Grrrr! We'll get you next time, Kratos Aurion! And your little Chosen friend too!
*Remiel runs off, followed by his lackeys*
Kratos: I see... So this is the Chosen? *turns to Pronyma*
Pronyma: Like you couldn't tell on your first glance? Jeez! What are you, blind?
Kratos: No, my eyesight is fine. I also happen to be a mercenary. If you can pay me, I'll take on the job of protecting you throughout your Journey of Regeneration.
Pronyma: Let me think about that...
*Pronyma turns back and steals Phaidra's wallet. She hands it to Kratos*
Pronyma: You're hired.
Forcystus: But Pronyma! I wanted to protect you!
Pronyma: Silence, Cannon Boy. Mister Kratos here is far more qualified.
Forcystus: Grrr...
“Forcystus gained the title; ‘Cannon Boy’!”
Rodyle: Don't worry, Forcystus. You still have me.
Forcystus: Don't make me more depressed than I already am, Midget Man.
"Rodyle gained the title; 'Midget Man'!"
Pronyma: Let's get going, alright? I'm on a tight schedule here.

*and so, the gang made its way through the Colette Temple. Forcystus was constantly overshadowed by Kratos, Rodyle only got in the way and Pronyma decided to let everyone else do the work for her. At last, they reach the room of the Oracle*
Forcystus: *pant pant* That was... horrible. Why the hell is this temple filled with mutant monsters?
Kratos: It is part of the trials.
Forcystus: Trials?
Rodyle: The trials for the Chosen One! Duh!
Forcystus: I knew that! I was just... testing you.
Pronyma: Excuse me, annoying creatures? Can I get this show on the road, now?
*everyone nods*
Pronyma: Finally! It's my time to shine! Ho ho ho!
*Pronyma steps forward and an orb of light comes down from the ceiling. It transforms into a guy with white wings and a silly dress*
Botta: Ahoy there! My name is Botta, and I'll be your Oracle for this Journey.
Forcystus: You're an angel?
Botta: ... Duh! *points to his wings*
Rodyle: Smart question there, Cannon Boy.
Forcystus: Shut it, Midget Man!
*they exchange glares, and get shot at by Pronyma*
Pronyma: Silence! You are ruining the best moment in my life!
Botta: Ohoh, let's not jump to conclusions. The best moment of your life is when you regenerate the world.
Pronyma: ... Oh, of course.
Botta: As representative of the Reneg- I mean Cruxis, I hereby grant you your Cruxis Crystal. With that, you will receive part of our power.
*a Cruxis Crystal comes flying toward Pronyma, but she hastily snatches it out of the air and plants it on her chest*
Pronyma: Neat! Well, we got what we came for. Let's get going.
Botta: Hold it! I still have to hold a little speech.
Pronyma: Make it quick, you annoying bastard.
Botta: ... Well, from this moment on, you are officially the Chosen of Regeneration. Now, you must travel to the land of the desert to release the Seal of Fire. I'll see you there, my beloved d-
Pronyma: Finish that sentence, and you will die. *narrows eyes*
Botta: Eep!
*Botta hastily disappears, and Pronyma turns to the others*
Pronyma: Well, so much for the single greatest moment of my life. What a disappointment. Hey, let's get out of this dusty old ruin.
*Pronyma leaves through the teleporter*
Kratos: ... Is she always like this?
Rodyle: ..... Yes... *stares at the ground sadly*
Forcystus: You have no idea how much we've suffered.
Kratos: Ugh... Looks like it's going to be another wonderful Journey of Regeneration.
*Kratos leaves*
Rodyle: Did that line just now strike you as odd?
Forcystus: Huh?
Rodyle: He said 'another wonderful Journey of Regeneration'. He was implying that he's experienced more than one. Isn't that a fatal contradiction in his testimony?
Forcystus: ... You need to stop playing so much Phoenix Wright. You're starting to grow paranoid.
_________________
"TEACH ME ABOUT BAZONGAS!!!"

Meowzy's Assorted (Tales) Spoofs

[Mikka]

Haha, brilliant! As a frequent lurker of your spoofs, Meowzy, I'd just like to thank you for writing them as they always bring a smile to my face. And where do you get these ideas? They're just so ridiculously good! Well, keep it coming!
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Lovebar by Valor. Thanks so much!

[Ryou_chan]

*hand up*

I vote Lloyd for evil overlord!

[TrippieKat]

Brilliant! This is awesome, like always!

Hooray for Grand Cardinal love~
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[Vanyel_Ashkevron]

[Meowzy]

Heh, thanks everyone. Yeah, the Grand Cardinals do need more love. Part of the reason I started writing this spoof. And I'm really enjoying it.

As for where I get my ideas... Well... Maybe it's the influence of a childhood filled with comedy series, The Simpsons, Lucasarts adventure games and other random stuff. ^^'
So basically, I steal jokes and put them in my spoofs. But shhh, that's top secret. XD

~~~~~

Part two.

*and so, using the wonderful power of scene skipping, we shall skip a few scenes. To sum it all up; Pronyma and Kratos left without Forcystus and Rodyle. So, the next day, we find Rodyle and Forcystus sitting underneath a tree, glancing around in a bored way. Kvar approaches them*
Kvar: Hey! Inferior beings! Shouldn't you be studying?!
Forcystus: It's a Saturday, professor Kvar.
Kvar: There is no rule saying you can't study on a Saturday! *throws another boot at Forcystus' head*
Forcystus: Unfair...
Rodyle: Anyway, we can't study. There's too much on our minds.
Kvar: Like what?
Rodyle: Well, I'm trying to figure out a way to create an enormous cannon, which uses Mana as its energy source. I've got the blueprints right here, see?
*Rodyle cackles in a disturbing manner and holds up a couple of papers*
Forcystus: As for me, I'm contemplating the meaning of life.
Kvar: Humph!
*Kvar stalks off again*
Rodyle: Geez, what a jerk.
Forcystus: Hey, do you smell smoke?
Rodyle: That's weird. I'm sure I took my evil cookies out of the oven.
Forcystus: It's more like... burnt wood. And burnt random NPCs.
Rodyle: *sniff* You're right. I wonder what-
*Rodyle glances around blankly, pauses, then glances around some more. Small silence...*
Rodyle: SWEET COLETTE IN HEAVEN! The village is on fire!
Forcystus: How come we didn't notice sooner? The panicking villagers should've tipped us off...!

*the two run into the village plaza, to find a troop of Desians*
Forcystus: Hey, didn't we have a non-aggression treaty?
Rodyle: I dunno... But I'm kinda enjoying the destruction.
*one of the Desians blows a trumpet*
Desian #1: Behold! Lord Genis approaches!
*the Desians step aside and Genis walks forward*
Genis: Eheheh! Ahahahahah! Eeheeh! Oh, I love being evil.
Rodyle: Who the heck is that?!
Forcystus: He's even shorter than you, Rodyle!
Rodyle: Shaddup!
Genis: I am Genis, lord of the nearby Desian Ranch and your ruler! Bow down before me! Do it nooow!
Forcystus: How did a pipsqueak like you get to run a Desian Ranch?
Genis: ... Errr... I'm really smart?
Forcystus: Oh, yeah, okay.
Rodyle: That makes sense.
Forcystus: Why are you burning down our village?
Genis: Because... I'm... so very very smart?
Forcystus: Ohhhh...
Rodyle: Right. Carry on, then.
Genis: I shall do just that.
*the Desians continue burning down the village*
Forcystus: Hey, these guys aren't so bad.
*Kvar comes running*
Kvar: Stop it! Inferior midget! This place is where I keep my stuff!
Genis: Did you just call me an inferior midget?!
Kvar: I sure did!
Genis: ... That's not nice at all! *sniffs sadly*
Kvar: ...
Genis: F-fine! Then I'll unleash my secret weapon on you, and have it teach you some manners!
*Genis snaps his fingers and an Exbelua stumbles forward*
Forcystus: Holyfriedbacononachickensandwich! What the heck is that?!
Genis: That, my friend, is a mutated prisoner.
Rodyle: ... You have no idea the amount of sympathy I feel for this monster.
Genis: Go forth, Marble! Go forth and destroy them all! Nehehehe!
*Marble approaches the three*
Forcystus: G-get it away! Get it away! Don't let it explode on top of me!
Rodyle: What the hell are you talking about?!
Kvar: Now now, miss monster. Hold it right there. Wouldn't you rather have some of my homemade orange juice instead?
*Kvar holds up a glass of orange juice. Marble slaps it out of his hand*
Genis: Ha-hah! Your orange juice got re-jec-ted!
Kvar: Grrr...
Forcystus: We have no choice. We have to fight!
Rodyle: Ohhh... Alright.
*a fierce battle ensues. it seems the gang is evenly matched, when suddenly... Marble trips and falls on top of Forcystus*
Forcystus: Nooo! NOOOO!
*Marble explodes*
Forcystus: C-Colette... Dammit. ... I knew it. *coughs up smoke*
Genis: Marble? Marble, noooooooooooo!
Rodyle: I sure am glad I'm not that horrible freak monster.
Kvar: Hm... *yawns*
*Forcystus gets to his feet. Due to the explosion, his hair has been turned into an afro*
Genis: Grrr... I'll get you for this! Just you wait! You... You... Meanies!
*Genis runs off, followed by his Desian lackeys. Everyone from the village glares at Forcystus and co.*
Forcystus: ... What? What did we do?

*five minutes later, Forcystus, Rodyle and Kvar have been kicked out of the village for no apparent reason*
Kvar: Well, I hope you’re happy now, you inferior fools.
Forcystus: What?! How is this our fault? You’re the one who interfered in the first place!
Rodyle: Yeah! If you hadn’t stepped in and opened your big mouth, those Desians would have continued to burn down the village and nobody would have given us a second glance!
Kvar: Well, whatever. It doesn’t matter. What are we going to do now?
Rodyle: Yeah… That village was our home… I don’t want to live in a forest!
Forcystus: … *lightbulb moment* … We won’t have to!
Kvar: What was that?
Forcystus: We’ll go after Pronyma! If we hurry, we can still catch her.
Rodyle: What good will that do? I don’t want to have that hag yell at us…
Forcystus: Don’t you see? This is our chance!
*cue heroic music*
Forcystus: This is the opportunity we’ve been waiting for! No longer will we stand in the background! We’ll be the stars of our own adventure! Then, people will have to acknowledge us and our potential personalities! We’ll have… We’ll have fans!
Rodyle: Really? Fans?
Kvar: That does sound appealing!
Forcystus: Come on guys, one for all and all for one! We’ll show this world what we’re made of! Are you with me?
Rodyle: … I’m in! Somewhere out there, someone will notice my brilliance and I’ll finally get to be the magi-technologist I’ve always wanted to be!
Kvar: I suppose I’m in as well. I have nothing better to do anyway.
Forcystus: Alright! This is gonna be awesome! I’ve always wanted to be a hero!

*and so, our three heroes embark on a quest to find Col- I mean Pronyma. They soon reach the desert and wander through it for a while. A LONG while*
Rodyle: Ugh… I hate deserts. They’re too… dry.
Kvar: What is it with you and water?
Forcystus: Speaking of water… Is there any left?
Kvar: Rodyle drank it all. That inferior jerk! … I’ve still got some orange juice, though.
Forcystus: I’d rather die than drink that poison!
Rodyle: Hey, wasn’t Triet supposed to be around here? *stares at the map*
Kvar: It would be, if you weren’t holding the damn map upside-down!
Rodyle: … Ohhhh…
Forcystus: So, we’re lost?
Kvar: Yup.
Forcystus: … Great. Well, I suppose we can ask for directions at that building over there.
*Forcystus heads towards the nearby Renegade base, followed by Rodyle and Kvar*
Rodyle: Looks like a pretty creepy place. Are you sure it’s wise to bother these people?
Forcystus: Only one way to find out.
*Forcystus rings the doorbell, and a trapdoor opens underneath him*
Forcystus: … Fiddlesticks.
*Forcystus falls into the trap, screaming like a girl*
Kvar: … Hmmm… How troublesome.
Rodyle: Well, the fall probably wasn’t fatal. It doesn’t look like a deep hole. Pinpointing the gravity constant at 9.8 and estimating Forcystus’ weight at that of a normal person…
Kvar: You forgot to add the weight of his enormous cannon arm.
Rodyle: … Oh, then it probably was fatal.
Kvar: … Think we should go check, anyway?
Rodyle: Yeah, sure. Let’s go find another entrance, or something.

~~~~~

Also, to those who might have been wondering; Yes, I am working on a big Tales of the Abyss spoof as well, now that I have finally played the game. However, it's moving at a slow pace, so I won't start uploading yet. Enjoy this big spoof in the meantime. ^^'
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"TEACH ME ABOUT BAZONGAS!!!"

Meowzy's Assorted (Tales) Spoofs

[Solez]

Oh my God, how did I miss this?

[KK Twain]

[Sacred Nut-o]

[SRMS]

<3

[Yume Hanabi]

That's great!! XD

I would quote my favourite parts, if there weren't so many of them...
btw, I loved the PW reference *finished playing not so long ago*
_________________

~Find my Tales of translations on LJ or on Tumblr~

[eoghan]

Awesome !
And sorry for not posting before.
_________________


Maskie sig by Vayle Skyl
Ju-da-su sig by phantasiagirl
Eoghan the Azure Dancer
-Masked Stalker's Four Stars-
The boy and the three girls of Maskie's sacred guard will never fail to revive their zombie back from oblivion. "Bump the FC! Bump the FC, dammit!"

[Meowzy]

Looks like everyone's really enjoying this spoof. That makes me glad. ^_^


~~~~~

Part three.

*meanwhile, inside the Renegade base…*
Forcystus: Owww… I landed on my cannon. That was extremely unpleasant…
*he gets to his feet and glances around blankly*
Forcystus: No welcoming committee? Guess I’ll have to find my own way out, then. And I shall smite anyone who gets in my way! Smite them, I say! Bwahahahah! Ahaha- oh, whatever.
*he starts to make his way through the base, shooting innocent Renegades, until he finally enters the leader’s office*
Forcystus: Wow, did I just step through a dimensional portal? Why is this room so tastelessly decorated? I mean, just look at those ugly curtains. Nobody in their right mind would-
???: Ahem?
*Forcystus turns to see Yuan*
Yuan: Just who the hell are you?
Forcystus: I could ask you the same question.
Yuan: Too bad. I asked it first.
Forcystus: Oh. Oh, right. Uhm, I’m Forcystus.
Yuan: Forcystus?!
Forcystus: Yeah, that’s what I said.
Yuan: … Hello, I’m Yuan.
Forcystus: Nice to meet ya.
*they shake hands*
Forcystus: Look, all I wanted to do was ask for directions, but I fell through this trapdoor and kinda ended up in here.
Yuan: Did you ring the doorbell?
Forcystus: Yes.
Yuan: Which one?
Forcystus: There’s two?
Yuan: Yes. One is labeled ‘visitors’ and one is labeled ‘intruders’.
Forcystus: Ohhh… I must’ve pressed the wrong one. Sorry about that.
Yuan: It can happen. I just made coffee. Want some?
Forcystus: Hey, thanks!
*both sit down to have coffee and biscuits*
Yuan: So, what were you saying about my curtains?
Forcystus: No offense, man, but purple is out. Ocean blue is all the rage these days.
Yuan: Really? You’ll have to excuse me, I’m a bit old-fashioned.
Forcystus: Well, now you know.
*Forcystus sees a picture of Kratos on Yuan’s desk. He stares at it blankly for a while, then sips his coffee. Suddenly, Remiel comes bursting in, followed by Kvar and Rodyle*
Remiel: Sir, I found these two trying to sneak into the base. They were apparently attempting to force their way through the chimney.
Rodyle: Hey, if Santa manages it, why can’t we? *cackles insanely*
Forcystus: Hey, you’re that guy who wanted to kill Pronyma!
Remiel: Hm?
Forcystus: Yes, it is you, isn’t it? And then you said you wanted to become Renegade leader instead of the Renegade leader!
Yuan: …!
Remiel: *tugs at his collar nervously* You must have misheard me…
Yuan: You know the Chosen One?
Forcystus: Pronyma? Yeah, we know her. She’s not exactly our friend or anything, cause she always yells at us, but we’re gonna try and catch up with her. Do you know where she is?
Yuan: She’d be halfway to Niflheim by now if a certain someone hadn’t screwed up.
*glares at Remiel, who tugs at his collar again*
Kvar: So, wait, back up here. You guys are trying to kill Pronyma?
Yuan: Yes.
Kvar: Then… Doesn’t that make you our enemy?
Yuan: Technically speaking, it does.
*Forcystus gasps and quickly puts his coffee down*
Rodyle: Sooo… You guys are Desians, then?
Remiel: Desians?
*Remiel and Yuan exchange glances and burst out laughing*
Rodyle: … I don’t appreciate being laughed at. *clenches fists*
Yuan: Hahah! Hah! Enough humor for today. I’ll give you guys one last piece of advice, in exchange for the curtain tip.
Forcystus: What’s that?
Yuan: Stay away from the Chosen One. It’ll mean trouble if you meet up with her.
Kvar: What do you-
*Yuan presses a button on his desk and Forcystus, Kvar and Rodyle are catapulted out of the base*
Remiel: Good riddance.
Yuan: Now, what’s this about you trying usurp me?
Remiel: Errr… Oh, boy, would you look at the time! *runs*

*and so, after even more wandering, our ‘heroes’ finally reach Triet*
Rodyle: Phew. Oh man, I thought we were done for out there.
Kvar: Stupid inferior desert.
Forcystus: Now, we can finally get some rest…
*Pronyma leaves the inn, followed by Kratos*
Pronyma: Well, that’s enough rest for now, you lazy bastard. Time to head out again.
Kratos: Yeah, yeah…
Pronyma: Don’t give me that attitude! I’m the Chosen One! If you want your ass salvaged by me, you’d better not get on my nerves, Emo-head!
Kratos: …
“Kratos gained the title; ‘Emo-head’!”
Forcystus: Hey, Pronyma! Over here! *waves at them*
Pronyma: … Oh hell no…
*Pronyma approaches them*
Pronyma: What are you three doing here? Speak swiftly!
Forcystus: We got kicked out of the village, so we figured we’d travel with you!
Rodyle: Don’t hurt me! It was Forcystus’ idea! *cowers behind Kvar*
Pronyma: Hmm… You look like you’ll make excellent human shields. Besides, my mercenary is spacing off half the time. Very well, you may come.
Forcystus: Rejoicement!
Rodyle: … Did she just say ‘human shields’?
*meanwhile, Kvar and Kratos are exchanging vivid glares*
Pronyma: What’s with you two?
Kvar: I’m not sure… I’ve never met this inferior human before, but I feel an inexplicable and intense hatred towards him.
Kratos: … Likewise. *narrows eyes*
Pronyma: Well, you two had better get along! If you don’t, I’ll dispose of you both!
*Kratos and Kvar exchange one last glare, before turning away*
Forcystus: So, let’s head for the inn and-
Pronyma: I already said we’ve had enough rest! We’re headed for the Ossa trail now, so get those scrawny legs in gear!
Rodyle: But we’re suffering from severe dehydration! I despise dehydration!
Pronyma: Then you should have gotten here sooner, idiot!
Kvar: Wait… You’ve already released the Seal of Fire?
Pronyma: Of course. I did so yesterday. It was a piece of cake. And that Botta guy was an idiot, just like before. This whole Chosen gig is easy.
*Pronyma walks off, into the desert. Kratos shrugs and follows*
Rodyle: … Ugh… Uuuugh…
Forcystus: What the hell are you doing?!
Rodyle: I’m trying to cry, but I’m so severely dehydrated that I have no tears left!

*the gang finally arrives at the Ossa trail*
Rodyle: -So then George said; “I would, but the carnival is powered by magi-technology!”
Forcystus: … Rodyle, that is the worst joke I have ever heard.
Kvar: Yeah. It was extremely inferior. Don’t ever think about becoming a stand-up comedian!
Rodyle: My mom thinks I’m funny… So I killed her! *cackles insanely*
???: Hold it right there, vermin!
*Magnius hops down from a ledge and lands in front of them, holding his enormous axe. The ground shudders heavily*
Magnius: Is the Chosen of Mana among you?
Pronyma: Yes, that would be me.
Magnius: Excellent. Now I know for sure I’m going to kill the right person this time.
Rodyle: What do you mean, ‘this time’?
*Magnius points to a pile of innocent dead travelers*
Rodyle: … Oh.
Pronyma: You want to kill me?
Magnius: That’s right. So hold still, vermin! *raises his axe*
Pronyma: Mercenary. Do your job.
Kratos: … Hmph.
*Kratos walks forward and unsheathes his sword*
Magnius: You have a death wish as well, vermin? Very well! I’ll kill you all, then.
Forcystus: W-what?
Rodyle: Hey, why are you bringing us into this?
Kvar: We’ll give you Kratos and then we’ll be on our way.
Magnius: Oh, that seems like a fair deal. Alright.
*the gang starts walking again*
Kratos: … Hey!
*Kratos tries to follow, but Magnius blocks his path*
Magnius: Get ready to die, vermin!
Kratos: Move.
Magnius: No! Now hold still so I can- … Waaait a minute! You’re not the person I’m supposed to kill! I’ve been tricked!
Kratos: If we hurry, we can still catch them.
Magnius: Not to worry, vermin. I know a short-cut.
*Magnius pulls a lever and a trapdoor opens up underneath Kratos’ feet*
Kratos: … I hate you.
*Kratos falls to his doom. Magnius peeks down the hole*
Magnius: Sorry about that, vermin! I shoulda warned you or something.
Kratos’ voice: I fell on… my sword…
Magnius: Heheheh. Look out below!
*Magnius hops into the hole as well. A disturbing sound follows*
Kratos’ voice: MY HIP!
_________________
"TEACH ME ABOUT BAZONGAS!!!"

Meowzy's Assorted (Tales) Spoofs

[eoghan]

Excellent !
_________________


Maskie sig by Vayle Skyl
Ju-da-su sig by phantasiagirl
Eoghan the Azure Dancer
-Masked Stalker's Four Stars-
The boy and the three girls of Maskie's sacred guard will never fail to revive their zombie back from oblivion. "Bump the FC! Bump the FC, dammit!"

[SRMS]

Is it just me or do all my posts here mainly consist of "<3"?