ToS - Switch glitch (Special 2 pt. 2 up!)

[Odin M Yggdrasil]

Unexpected and random, but it seemed too springer-like for my preference.

[Ray]

I'd never think you'll do this. So, what can I say before I'll die out of laughter...
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icon credit

[KK Twain]

ROFL!

Ouch, I have a sore throat and all the laughing made it hurt even more. Oh well, there's been worse times that I decided to laugh.

This is great, and so you said there are going to be two oneshots? That means I can look forward to another one, right? And to answer your question I was definetly not expecting an update. How much I love surprizes. (For have a sore throat for four days and it being 10pm, I'm feeling awfully energetic...) Can't wait for more.

[eoghan]

Nice one !
_________________


Maskie sig by Vayle Skyl
Ju-da-su sig by phantasiagirl
Eoghan the Azure Dancer
-Masked Stalker's Four Stars-
The boy and the three girls of Maskie's sacred guard will never fail to revive their zombie back from oblivion. "Bump the FC! Bump the FC, dammit!"

[Meowzy]

Heeheeh, thanks for the comments! ^_^

The second special ended up... Uhm... Being a bit longer than I first expected it to be. I had to cut it into two. ^^'

~~~~~

Once Upon A Time.

*we join our heroes near the ruins of the old Tower of Salvation. Lloyd, Zelos, Sheena, Raine, Genis, Mithos, Regal, Presea and the guardian spirit Martel are sitting around the Kharlan tree*
Raine: Is that everyone?
Zelos: No, I think we're missing someone. Someone annoying...
Lloyd: I wonder who it could be.
Colette's voice: Lloooyd!
Lloyd: ... Oh yeah...
*Colette comes running. She trips and nearly falls on top of the frail little Kharlan tree, but Martel grabs her just in time*
Colette: Oops. Eheheh... I'm sorry.
Sheena: Well Colette, I see you haven't changed much.
Colette: I have! I got a hair cut, see?
*everyone squints*
Sheena: ... No...
Colette: It's not two millimeters shorter than before. I can't believe you didn't notice!
Presea: Colette, will you please sit down?
Colette: Sure!
*Colette almost sits down on top of the frail little Kharlan tree. Luckily, Martel manages to grab her again just in time*
Colette: Oops. Eheheh... I'm sorry.
*Colette sits down between Presea and Martel*
Lloyd: Raine, did you bring the stuff?
Raine: I sure did.
*Raine searches her Wing Pack and takes out a huge flatscreen monitor. Then she takes out a keyboard, a computer and a mouse*
Colette: Eeek! A mouse!
Raine: How'd that get in there?
*the mouse runs off, squeaking. Raine sets up the computer*
Raine: Ready when you are.
Lloyd: Alright! Main screen turn on!
*Raine turns on the monitor. Nothing happens*
Lloyd: ...
*Raine whacks the monitor. It flicks on to show a random room in Derris-Kharlan*
Zelos: Now what?
Raine: Now, we send a message.
*Raine presses a button, and the annoying MSN Messenger sound starts playing over and over*
Regal: What is this ominous sound?! *tries to cover his ears, but ends up almost choking himself with the chain of his handcuffs*
Mithos: Wow, that has to get their attention.
*soon after, Kratos appears in front of the screen, looking horribly annoyed*
Kratos: What the hell is this f- ... Oh, it's you!
Raine: *makes the beeping stop* Hello Kratos.
Lloyd: Hi dad!
*everyone waves merrily*
Kratos: What's wrong? Did something happen over there?
Colette: I got a haircut! *smiles proudly*
Kratos: ...
Lloyd: Actually, we were having a reunion and wanted to include you and Yuan somehow, so we set up a connection with Derris-Kharlan.
Kratos: Hey, that's pretty neat! *sits down in front of the screen*
Sheena: Where is Yuan, anyway?
Kratos: Oh, he's... *looks to something on his right* ... Busy.
Yuan's voice: I'll be right there, dammit!
Genis: What's he doing?
Kratos: ... Getting dressed.
*a long silence follows*
Yuan's voice: Hey, give me a break! It takes ages to put all this armor on!
Lloyd: So, how are things up there?
Kratos: Oh, pretty nice. We got rid of all the exspheres and started redecorating Vinheim.
Mithos: Don't touch my stuff!
Kratos: ... Actually, Yuan burnt most of it.
Mithos: What?!
*Yuan appears behind Kratos, putting on his cloak*
Yuan: Hey, most of your stuff creeps me out. I didn't want to have it around, so burning was the best solution.
Mithos: I'll get you for that, you traitor!
Yuan: What are you gonna do? Hm? Use your telepathy to kill me on the spot? Oh, wait, you don't have telepathy! Too bad, kid.
Mithos: You son of a-
Kratos: Guys, please.
Mithos: Stay out of this, stupid human!
Yuan: Don't yell at Kratos, you midget!
Kratos: I can defend myself, Yuan!
Colette: You three really are the best of friends, aren't you? *giggles*
Yuan, Kratos and Mithos: ...
Regal: Yes, it's hard to imagine you were once companions. How did that happen?
Mithos: Well, it was mostly Martel who kept us together.
*everyone turns to stare at guardian Martel*
Martel: Hey, don't look at me! I'm not that Martel!
Yuan: Thank the heavens for that...
Kratos: Those were some fun times, back then... *smiles*
Yuan: *sits down next to Kratos* I remember the first time I met Mithos and Martel.
Lloyd: Ohhhh! A story!

/Flashback/
*Yuan exits an item shop, holding a large bag*
Yuan: One can never have enough lemon gels! And I scored a bottle of Palma wine as well! ... Wine, potion, whatever.
*he bumps into Martel, dropping the bag. There is a smashing sound*
Yuan: My wi- ... I mean... Potion!
Martel: Watch where you're going, you- *looks at Yuan* I... Ah... Hello.
Yuan: ...
Martel: I'm Martel Yggdrasill! Hello! What's your name?
Yuan: Yuan.
Martel: Well, mister Yuan, you wait right here and I'll buy you a new bottle of wine!
Yuan: It's a potion.
Martel: Whatever you say, mister Yuan! Eeheeh!
*Mithos comes running*
Mithos: Sis! We don't have time for that! We have to end the war, remember?
Martel: Quiet, Mithos! Eheheh... Don't mind my little brother. He's a bit disturbed.
Yuan: Yes, I can see that. A group of half-elves ending the war! That's preposterous!
Mithos: No it's not! We're going to succeed!
Yuan: No you're not.
Mithos: Yes we are!
Yuan: Nu-uh!
Mithos: Yeah-uh!
Yuan: Nu-uh!
Mithos: I'll show you! I'll show all of you!
Yuan: Oh please. I'd like to see that.
Martel: Oh! Oh! I just got the greatest idea! Mister Yuan can travel with us!
Yuan: What?
Martel: It's a win-win situation! If we end the war, Mithos can laugh at him. But if we don't succeed, mister Yuan's point will be proven!
Yuan: That sounds stupid.
Mithos: Oh, I see. He's scared. Well, I don't blame him. Ending a war is dangerous work. Only real men are cut out for it.
Yuan: What?! Calling me a coward? I'll do it!
Martel: Excellent! I'll go get the wedding rings!
Yuan and Mithos: ...
Martel: I mean... I'll go get that bottle of wine for you, and then we can go. Eheheheh...
*Martel enters the store*
Mithos: I look forward to laughing at you when we succeed.
Yuan: Puhlease. How about a little bet?
Mithos: What did you have in mind?
Yuan: If you don't succeed, you'll have to wear tight spandex for the rest of your life.
Mithos: Fine, but if I do succeed, you'll have to join any organization I might start.
Yuan: Oh, it is on!
/End flashback/

Yuan: Should've never made that bet...
Mithos: Heheheh...
Colette: That Martel sure sounded like a nice person! Teeheeh!
Genis: Wait, but you did succeed! Why were you wearing spandex as Yggdrasill?
Mithos: Because it's comfy. *shrugs*
Sheena: So... where does Kratos come in?
Yuan: Well, I'll tell you.

/Flashback/
*Mithos and Martel are standing outside a town, waiting for Martel*
Yuan: What is taking that woman so long?
Mithos: Don't talk about my sister like that!
Yuan: Shut up, shorty.
Mithos: Why you-
*Martel exits the town, followed by Kratos*
Martel: Here I am! I found us a mercenary to protect us, see?
Mithos: We don't need a mercenary! We can take care of ourselves!
Yuan: ...
Martel: Oh, don't be stupid, Mithos. We're three wimpy half-elves. We need all the help we can get.
Kratos: And my fee is fairly low. *grin*
Mithos: Well, don't think I'm going to get along with a stupid human like him.
Martel: Mithos! Our goal is to stop discrimination! Don't be a hypocrite!
Yuan: ... Yeah, Mithos. Shut up.
Martel: Anyway, that's the little brother I was talking about. Don't mind his bad manners.
Kratos: Hello, Mithos. My name is Kratos Aurion.
Mithos: *growling sound*
Martel: And that's-
Yuan: *shakes Kratos' hand* Hello, I'm Yuan. Nice to meet such a handsome- Errr... skilled human such as yourself.
Kratos: *giggles like a schoolgirl*
/Flashback gets interrupted/

Lloyd: Dad! You giggled like a schoolgirl?!
Kratos: No! Yuan is telling it wrong!
Yuan: Oh, am I?
Kratos: Yeah. Here, I'll tell it.

/Flashback/
Kratos: *hearty, male laugh*
Martel: ... Well, let's get going. We've still got a long journey ahead of us.
Kratos: I look forward to traveling with you all.
Yuan: Same here!
Mithos: *another growling sound*
/End Flashback/

Mithos: You're making me sound like some rabid animal.
Yuan: That's what you are.
Mithos: *foams*
Kratos: Yes, those were some crazy times.
Sheena: So that's when you started making pacts with summon spirits, right?
Yuan: Exactly. Mithos managed it all by himself.
Mithos: I'm so proud...
Yuan: We traveled all around for those pacts. It was quite a journey. Why, I remember what happened after the pact with Maxwell. *grin*
Mithos: Oh, please don't tell them that story!
Yuan: Too late. We're flashbacking!

/Flashback/
*Mithos is standing on a group of islands, along with Kratos, Yuan and Martel. Maxwell is floating in front of them*
Mithos: Now, with your amazing power in my grasp, I want you to create a haven for half-elves!
Maxwell: What?
Mithos: Well, it's going to be a while before half-elf persecution is over. I want you to create a haven for half-elves who want to cut themselves off from humans.
Maxwell: How do you expect me to do that?
Mithos: Use your imagination.
Maxwell: ... Alright...
*the ground starts shaking*
Yuan: Earthquake!!! *drops to the ground*
Kratos: Aaah! *falls on top of Yuan*
Martel: I can't die yet! I'm still a virgin!
*the islands get lifted into the sky*
Maxwell: There you go, one safe haven. ... Mithos?
*Mithos has fallen off the islands, into the ocean*
Mithos: Help meee! I got a cramp in my foooot!
Martel: Ahhh! My brother is drowning! Save him!
*a small silence follows. Martel turns to see Kratos and Yuan, still lying on the ground*
Martel: Hey! Mercenary! I said save my brother! Hop to it!
Kratos: Oh! Right!
*Kratos gets to his feet and dives off the island*
Yuan: ... *sits up and pouts*
/End Flashback/

*everyone except Mithos is laughing*
Zelos: Funniest thing I've ever heard!
Sheena: Hahahahah! Such a hero!
Raine: Who knew Exire was created by such a loser?
Mithos: Yes, haha. Let's all have a good laugh.
Genis: Awww... We're sorry, Mithos.
Kratos: Anyway, around that time Mithos became my apprentice. We got our Cruxis crystals and started to develop seraph powers.
Yuan: Yeah, but Martel got sick, remember? We had to gather the most useless items ever to heal her. Mana Leaf Herb, Zircon, Mana Fragment... A unicorn horn... When she was healed, Martel was even more obnoxious than before.
Mithos: That unicorn scared me...
Sheena: Wait, the unicorn called Yuan Martel's fiancée. But what's the deal with Yuan and Martel anyway?
*Yuan stops laughing and turns pale*
Mithos: Yes, Yuan. Do tell.
Yuan: I'd rather not.
Kratos: Oh, it's okay, Yuan. They won't laugh as hard as I did.
Mithos: Wanna bet?
Yuan: Oh, well... Fine.

/Flashback/
*Yuan is standing in a clearing*
Yuan: Must tell Kratos... Must tell Kratos... But how? Oh, I know. Maybe with some flowers! *searches his wallet* ... Damn, I'm broke. I don't have money for flowers.
*Martel approaches him*
Martel: Hi Yuan! Wow, fancy meeting you here! All alone, in a romantic clearing...
Yuan: Yes, you're just the person I was looking for!
Martel: I am? *giggles*
Yuan: Do you have some money I can borrow? I need to buy flowers for Kratos.
Martel: ... Money? Oh, sure, I have money! But you can't have it!
Yuan: Why not?
Martel: ... Because.
Yuan: What if I beat you in a kendama competition?
Martel: A kendama competition? Oh please! You could never beat me.
Yuan: Wanna bet?
Martel: Fine. If you beat me, I'll give you the money. But if you lose... You have to marry me.
Yuan: Marry you? Hahahah, you have a great sense of humor, Martel!
Martel: ...
Yuan: Fine, let's do this.
*both take out their kendamas. Two minutes later, Yuan is severely defeated*
Yuan: Oh, tartar sauce! Now I can forget about those flowers!
Martel: Yay! Let's go tell the others the good news!
Yuan: What good news?
Martel: That we're getting married, silly! Eeheeh!
Yuan: ... I... Sorry... What?
*Martel grabs Yuan and drags him away from the clearing towards the camp, where Kratos and Mithos are sitting in front of the campfire*
Martel: Guys, great news! Yuan and I are engaged!
*Mithos' jaw drops, and Kratos lets go of the sandwich he was eating in shock*
Mithos: What?!
Martel: That's right. We're in loooove!
Yuan: No we're not.
Martel: Oh, don't be shy, honey!
Yuan: But I- You- Ah...
*Kratos gets up*
Mithos: Where are you going?
Kratos: A walk.
Yuan: Ah, no! Kratos! Come back!
*Yuan tries to follow Kratos, but Martel is clinging to his arm a bit too firmly*
/End Flashback/

*everyone except Yuan is now laughing twice as hard*
Zelos: This is even funnier than the funniest thing I've ever heard!
Sheena: I think one of my organs just exploded from laughing too hard!
Lloyd: Ahahahahah! Yuan, you're the most pathetic person I have ever seen!
Yuan: *narrows eyes*
Regal: So, let me guess... Kratos refused to talk to you after that?
Yuan: Yup. I tried to explain but he never gave me a chance.
Kratos: Hey, excuse me for not wanting to talk to a guy who broke my heart.
Yuan: I didn't do it on purpose!
Mithos: So you decided to just get my sister out of the way, did you? Snuff her off so that you could be with Kratos again?
Yuan: What?
Mithos: Go on, tell them what happened the day my sister died!
Yuan: Do I have to?
Mithos: Yes. You're the only one who knows the full story.
Yuan: Oh, fine.

~~~~

To be continued!

In the meantime, you can check out my Twilight Princess spoof in the General Arts section, which is severely low on comments at the moment.
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"TEACH ME ABOUT BAZONGAS!!!"

Meowzy's Assorted (Tales) Spoofs

[BrianFer]

[eoghan]

Awesome !
I just can't wait to see what happened THAT day !
_________________


Maskie sig by Vayle Skyl
Ju-da-su sig by phantasiagirl
Eoghan the Azure Dancer
-Masked Stalker's Four Stars-
The boy and the three girls of Maskie's sacred guard will never fail to revive their zombie back from oblivion. "Bump the FC! Bump the FC, dammit!"

[Solez]

Ok. Concerning the first special, here's what I liked:

[kiyori_chan]

i live!!! *gets up like Frankenstein*
heh, brilliant work as usual Meowzy
i have really missed these
*sighs contently*
love the schoolgirl bit... but it has already been quoted
^_^
_________________
~Music has the power to bring people together - Michael Franti~ trust in the Lord

[Odin M Yggdrasil]

*hysteria appears*
Pact Maker, why have you not summoned me
OMY: Um, I was waiting for the right kind of humor, and I just found it.
Hysteria: *reads spoof*
Hysteria: *dies laughing*
OMY: Meowzy still has not lost her touch. this is just too good to quote only a few pieces, I should quite the whole thing.

[Fawkesedit: Don't quite unnecessarially]

[Meowzy]

Heeheeh, thanks for the comments everyone. Glad you're all enjoying it.
Here's part two!

~~~~
Once Upon A Time.
Part 2.


/Flashback/
*Martel is standing in a clearing, holding two bouquets of flowers*
Martel: Hmm... Roses or lilies? Which would match my eyes better?
*Yuan approaches her*
Yuan: Martel, we need to-
Martel: Yuan, what do you think? Roses or lilies?
Yuan: Neither.
Martel: Oh? Then what? Tulips, maybe?
Yuan: Look, Martel, really, we should call this whole thing off.
Martel: And reschedule for a July wedding? I don't know, Yuan... I kind of like May as a wedding month.
Yuan: No! No rescheduling! No wedding whatsoever!
Martel: ... Eloping?
Yuan: NO! Look, I don't want to marry you! I don't want to be your husband!
Martel: Oh, now Yuan, that's just the cold feet talking.
Yuan: No it's not! Get it through your skull! I'm gay!
Martel: Don't be silly. Oh, I've comprised a guest list! *holds it up* Kratos isn't on it though. But you don't mind, do you?
Yuan: You little- Give me that! *snatches the list from Martel's hands and rips it into pieces*
Martel: Yuan! I told you, no violent tendencies! That goes right along on the 'no-no' list with stalking.
Yuan: I wasn't stalking you! I was-
Martel: *grabs Yuan's collar* Look here, bub! We had an agreement! I don't care if you dislike me and I don't care if you like men, but I refuse to become a sixty year old single woman! So you're going to be my husband, and you're going to like it!
Yuan: No!
Martel: Yes!
Yuan: Oh, why don't you just do us all a favor and... and drop dead!
*Martel's eyes fill with tears, and she runs off*
Yuan: Ah... Martel, I didn't mean it like that! It was a spur of the moment thing! I- Martel! Get back here!
/End flashback/

Sheena: Yuan! That's so cruel!
Regal: To a defenseless girl... How could you?
Yuan: She was shouting at me and forcing me to marry her! I did what I had to do!
Mithos: That's not how it looked to us.

/Flashback/
*Mithos and Kratos are sitting around the campfire*
Mithos: I still can't believe she's marrying him!
Kratos: I still can't believe he's marrying her!
*Martel comes running past them, sobbing dramatically*
Mithos: Martel, where are you-
Martel: I'm a victim of societyyyy! Waaaahhh!
*Martel disappears through the bushes on the other side*
Mithos: ...
*Yuan enters the campsite*
Yuan: Did you see Martel?
*a small silence follows, and Mithos and Kratos point in the complete opposite direction of where Martel was headed*
Yuan: Okay, thanks.
*Yuan leaves again*
/End Flashback/

Yuan: Hah! So if you had pointed me in the right direction in the first place, all this could have been prevented!
Mithos: What?!
Yuan: I could have easily caught up with Martel, instead of wandering around aimlessly for two hours! If I'd caught her, I would have been there when that human appeared!
Mithos: Oh, like that would have helped anything. He'd have killed you too. ... Why did we send you in the wrong direction again?

/Flashback/
*Yuan returns to camp*
Yuan: Ugh... I still haven't found Martel!
Kratos: Then I guess we'd better go out to search. You're obviously not looking hard enough.
Yuan: ...
*Mithos and Kratos also get up. Just then, a loud scream echoes through the forest*
Yuan: What the hell was that?
Kratos: It was like one annoying, shrill voice cried out in pain… and was suddenly silenced.
Mithos: Martel?
*the three rush off*
/End Flashback/

Presea: And that's when she...
Mithos: Oh yes.
Regal: I have to say, that really is severely traumatizing.
Mithos: Yeah. Oh, it haunts my dreams to this day! Genis, hold me!
Genis: ... Okay. *hugs Mithos*
Raine: *looks up from her notepad* But, wait, where does the splitting of the world fit in? Wasn't that done before Martel died?
Kratos: Yes, it was. Even before the engagement, actually.
Yuan: Who wants the honor of the flashback?
Mithos: Oh! Oh! I'll do it!

/Flashback/
*Mithos is standing in Torent forest, along with Kratos, Yuan and Martel*
Mithos: Finally, the pact with Origin is mine! Appear before me, Eternal Sword!
*the Eternal Sword appears in Mithos' hand dramatically*
/Flashback is interrupted/

Yuan: Allow me to correct this image right here.

/Flashback/
*Mithos is standing in Torent forest, along with Kratos, Yuan and Martel*
Mithos: Finally, the pact with Origin is mine! Alll miiiine! The precioussss… Appear before me, Eternal Sword!
*the Eternal Sword falls from the sky and conks Mithos on the head*
Mithos: OW!
Origin's voice: Heheheh...
Mithos: *holds the sword up* Eternal Sword, grant me my first wish! I want a swimming pool filled with jello and-
*Kratos whacks him upside the head*
Mithos: Ow! Okay, okay! I wish that Sylvarant and Tethe'alla are split into two different worlds, so that their forces cannot start another fight.
Origin's voice: How do you expect me to do that?
Yuan: Well, by shifting them into two different dimensions and placing the Great Seed in the center, we can start an hourglass system to divide the Mana. It'll be bipolar, so there are two points where the worlds connect. Of course, the seed would have to be protected by Mana Links and-
Origin's voice: Oh, hold on, I have to write this down.
*two hours later*
Origin's voice: And that's why the Summon Spirits of the declining world are placed under a seal?
Mithos: Exactly!
Origin's voice: Hmm... Well, alright then. Here goes nothing.
*insert flashy light effects and panicking civilians as the worlds are split. Then, everything goes calm again*
Mithos: ... I did it! I'm a hero now! I stopped the war, but more importantly… I won the bet! Yuan, you have to- ... Yuan?
*Mithos turns back to see both Martel and Kratos clinging to Yuan in fear*
Mithos: ...
/End Flashback/

Yuan: Myes, I was quite popular in my days. *smug grin*
Mithos: Show off.
Regal: But what was the deal with Derris-Kharlan?
Kratos: Easy. The hourglass system was originally only temporary, as we wanted to use the Eternal Sword to feed the Great Seed Derris-Kharlan's Mana and allow it to germinate. Then, the worlds could be united again.
Yuan: However, it still took about ten more years before Derris-Kharlan would pass the planet. In that time, Martel was killed and Mithos tied her soul to the Great Seed. By the time Derris-Kharlan arrived, Cruxis was already forming.
Kratos: Yuan became Origin's seal and the Chosen system was created.
Yuan: Well, I was forced to join in because of the bet.
Kratos: I joined because Yuan joined.
Mithos: None of you joined because you believed in my ideals?!
Yuan and Kratos: Nope.
Mithos: *growling sound*'
Raine: Hmm... I think that covers all of it.
Yuan: Yeah, we- Wait, why were we telling you all this again?
Colette: Because it's fun! Eeheeheeh!
Yuan: *narrows eyes*
Lloyd: Oh! OH! I have a question!
Kratos: Which is?
Lloyd: Can you tell us the story of Kratos leaving Cruxis and meeting mom?
Kratos: Oh, I don't think-
Yuan: Yes, do tell.
Kratos: ... Ah... Well… Fine.

/Flashback/
*Yggdrasill is sitting in his throne room, playing a game of cards with Yuan. Kratos walks by, wearing a backpack*
Yggdrasill: Where are you going?
Kratos: Out.
Yggdrasill: When will you be back?
Kratos: When Niflheim freezes over.
Yggdrasill: *takes out his calendar* Isn't that the tenth of August?
Kratos: No, you idiot! It's never! I'm leaving Cruxis!
Yuan: What?!
Yggdrasill: But... Why?
Kratos: I've had it with this damn Chosen system, I've had it with your damn Age of Lifeless Beings, and I've had it with Vinheim's pointless corridors! You can find someone else to be your lackey and set your VCR and make you coffee!
Yggdrasill: But-
Kratos: I quit!
Yggdrasill: You can't quit! You're fired! Stupid human! Get outta here!
Kratos: Fine, I will.
Pronyma: *comes running* Can I be the new lackey?
Yggdrasill: You’re hired! Get me a cup of hot cocoa!
Pronyma: Right away, my lord! *runs off*
*Meanwhile, Kratos is headed for the exit*
Yuan: Ah, Kratos?
Kratos: What?!
Yuan: ... Nothing.
*Kratos leaves*
Yggdrasill: Humph.
Yuan: Should we really have let him go?
Yggdrasill: Why shouldn't we? He was a lousy teacher anyway. And it's not like he's Origin's seal or something.
Yuan: Hm... *turns back to his cards* Got any fives?
Yggdrasill: Go fish.
Yuan: Well-
Yggdrasill: Go fish! I mean it! Right now!
Yuan: What?
Yggdrasill: I'm ordering you to go fish!
Yuan: *sighs and takes out a fishing rod* Right away, my lord.
/End Flashback/

Zelos: O-kay...
Lloyd: *eating popcorn* So, you traveled to the surface. And then what?
Kratos: Well, I started the Renegades, obviously. A few hundred years later, I had infiltrated Kvar's ranch for several... Uhm... Renegade related activities. And- Do I really have to tell this story?
Yuan: Yes.
Kratos: But it's embarrassing!
Yuan: I flashbacked to my embarrassing stories too, so start talkin'!
Kratos: Ugh...

/Flashback/
*in Asgard ranch...*
Kvar's voice: Where the hell did all my liquor go?!!! Curse you, Renegades!!!
Kratos: *lying on the ground of a cell in his underwear* Ugggh... Not so loud... My head is killing me...
Mysterious voice: Wake up, darling...
Kratos: Nooo... *covers ear*
Mysterious voice: But I have good news for you. I'm pregnant.
Kratos: ... What?!
*Kratos hastily sits up to come face to face with a creepy looking man*
Kratos: Ahhh! Who the hell are you?!
Andrew: I'm host number A010. But you can call you Andrew, or sweetcakes. *winks*
Kratos: Oh dear Martel in heaven, nooo!
*Kratos scuttles into a far corner and bumps into another woman*
Kratos: Help me woman! Whoever you are, help me!
Anna: I'm host number A012. I think my real name is Anna though.
Kratos: Wow, this place is alphabetical.
Anna: They found you collapsed in a corridor and dubbed you number A011, Andy.
Kratos: Andy?! Ugh, why not something decent? Like Carl? *shakes head sadly*
Anna: Don't mind Andrew. He's a bit crazy. Exsphere mutation and all that.
Kratos: So he's not really pregnant?
Anna: Nooo. Of course not.
Kratos: Thank the heavens.
Anna: Hey, wanna help me escape? They're creating a really important exsphere inside my body that's going to be offered to a lord Yggdrasill.
Kratos: Oh, sure. Anything to tick Yggdrasill off.
*Kratos puts his clothes on, grabs Anna, breaks the prison cell door down and drags her to the exit of the ranch*
Andrew: Call meee!
*they step outside the ranch*
Kratos: Wow, that was easy. Well, miss Anna, take c-
Anna: Oh, by the way, I am pregnant with your kid.
Kratos: Ahhhhhhh!!!
/End Flashback/

Lloyd: ... I was an accident?
Kratos: You see now why I didn't want to tell him this?!
Yuan: ...
Lloyd: My life is an accident! I can't believe this! Everything was just one big lie, wasn't it? The angels, Cruxis all of it! You deceived me! Uaaaargh!
*Zelos slaps Lloyd*
Lloyd: ... Sorry.
Kratos: Well, Lloyd, you may have been an accident, but you were a... A happy accident! Uhm... A present from heaven! ... Yeah.
Lloyd: *sniff* Really?
Kratos: Uhuh.
Lloyd: Well, that makes me feel better.
Yuan: Okay, I think those really were all the important stories.
Mithos: *thinks deeply* Oh, I still have one!
Yuan: Really? What's that?

/Flashback/
Yggdrasill: *wearing a huge ballroom dress* Welcome to the 4007th Cruxis Mardi Grass cross-dressing party! Let the festivities begin!
Yuan: *wearing an old lady dress* Ngggh... Why is this terror every year?
Kratos: *wearing a tutu* The madness must end!
Yuan: If you kill me first, I promise to kill you afterwards.
Kratos: I'm not falling for that one again. Besides, Yggdrasill brought lifebottles beforehand this time.
Yggdrasill: Guys, get over here and help me braid my hair!
Yuan: Get Remiel to do it!
Remiel: *wearing a maid outfit* It would be an honor for me to braid your hair, lord Yggdrasill!
Yggdrasill: But Remiel always gets it wrong!
/End Flashback/

Mithos: *blank smile*
Yuan: Uhm... Well, I kind of already had that flashback before. It just wasn't visible to others.
Mithos: I know. That's why I retold it.
*everyone else is trying very hard not to laugh, but failing miserably*
Genis: Well, Mithos, I think you look wonderful in a ballroom dress.
Mithos: Thank you, Genis.
Martel: Excuse me? You only reserved this terrain until five o' clock. It is now five o' clock, so I'm going to have to ask you to leave. The Kharlan tree needs rest.
Raine: Oh, right!
Lloyd: Well, it was nice talking to you, dad!
Kratos: You too, son. Same time next year?
Yuan: Oh, before I forget... Lloyd, do you have my wallet?
Lloyd: Uhm... Oh! The connection is breaking up! I can't hear you! We're going through a tunnel! Bzzzt bzzt. *Lloyd quickly smashes the monitor with one of Colette's Pow Hammers*
Raine: Hey, that thing cost me two-hundred Gald!
Lloyd: Oh, sorry. *takes out Yuan's wallet and pays Raine two-hundred Gald*
Regal: Well, I'll see you all later. I have an interview at Pronyma's Preachings at seven o' clock.
Zelos: And Lloyd and I still have plenty of hero stuff to do.
Sheena: Plenty of ninja stuff to do, myself. And I have to get a manicure.
Genis: Guess we'd better get going too, huh Mithos?
Mithos: What were we doing again before we came here?
Genis: Stopping discrimination, I think.
Raine: I thought we were traveling the world to find mother...
Genis: Either is good.
Presea: I don't even have a social life to return to. I'll just sit there in a corner, staring into space, I suppose.
Zelos: Hey, have fun with that, Presea.
*everyone leaves*
Colette: ... Guys? Wait! I don't remember where I live! Guys! There was a buddy systeeem!
Martel: Well, I'd take you home, but I can't leave the Kharlan tree's side.
Colette: Can I stay here, then?
Martel: ... I guess I can set up a cardboard box for you to live in until someone comes to find you.
Colette: Hurray!

End!
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"TEACH ME ABOUT BAZONGAS!!!"

Meowzy's Assorted (Tales) Spoofs

[kiyori_chan]

*laughing loudly causing to wake my ogre brother*
awesome... as usual

[eoghan]

that was as awesome as ever !
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Maskie sig by Vayle Skyl
Ju-da-su sig by phantasiagirl
Eoghan the Azure Dancer
-Masked Stalker's Four Stars-
The boy and the three girls of Maskie's sacred guard will never fail to revive their zombie back from oblivion. "Bump the FC! Bump the FC, dammit!"

[BrianFer]

[Ray]

Oh, another awesome work. I really laughed on that one.
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