Tales of Cadence

[Gamestop]

[Roadie]

Thanks for the comments on the chapter, everyone. <3 I hope you all had a nice Christmas.

Kevvie: Well, you are speshul, mai boi.

Sir Shrek: If it's any consolation, there will be an epilogue after the 67th chapter is posted. :') I have a feeling it's going to be a while before this awful story ends... But thanks so much for your comments, I love reading them. <3

YZorker: It's fine, I was out of town most of last week so I didn't have a lot of time to post things.


Anyway, I've been having a bit of trouble getting the next chapter edited in time for tomorrow (lol Vesperia) but I've decided to post the oneshot I promised for Christmas instead... I've also been working on several other extras, like new sidequests and those goddamn chapter summaries I promised eons ago (I've finished up to Chapter 20, but with 50 chapters to summarize it might take me a while).

Think of this as an early incredibly sh*tty New Years gift from me to you. <3 It's kind of a step back in time because it's before the halfway point when Skylar went all crazy...



First Snowfall of the Season


“Whoa!” Felix cried, pressing his hands against the frosty inn window. “Look, Raven! It’s snowing!”

Raven miserably joined Felix at the window, giving a small sigh when he saw the white, barren landscape before them. “It’s snowing in Austror,” he muttered, crestfallen. He sagged forward and leaned his head against the cold pane of glass.

“That’s amazing!” Elsynne breathed. “I didn’t know it snowed like that on this part of the continent!”

“I don’t think it’s snowed like this in Austror for a long time.” Ilia smiled. “This is really something.”

“Come on, Raven!” Felix said, tugging on the older boy’s elbow. “Let’s go see the snow up close!”

Raven pulled his arm from Felix’s grasp and shrugged back into the warm shadows of the room. “I don’t want to. It’s too cold.”

“Please, Raven?”

Raven glanced down at him and shuddered. Felix had clasped his hands together and was staring at him earnestly, attempting the same ‘cute’ tactic he often employed to get his way. Unfortunately, it usually worked – even Raven, for some reason or another, found it difficult to say no when Felix looked at him like that.

“…Fine. Maybe later,” Raven said reluctantly, focusing his gaze on the wall over Felix’s head.

“Yeah!” Felix threw his arms in the air and rushed for the door. “Hurry up so we can build snowmen, and have a snowball fight, and-“

“Hold on.” Elsynne stopped her cousin with a wave of her hand. “Come here and put on a coat. It’s way too cold for you to go out in your regular clothes.”

“I’m coming too!” Ilia chimed in as she pulled a pair of purple gloves from the pack beside her cot.

The room was a flurry of hectic activity until Elsynne, Felix, and Ilia finally left, leaving Raven alone in the inn room with Skylar and Stephen. They certainly weren’t the first people he’d willingly choose to be left with, but since Stephen was napping and Skylar was reading, he figured it would be a relatively quiet afternoon despite the ruckus outside.

‘Finally,’ Raven thought, sliding to a sitting position on the floor. He drew his legs to his chest and rested his chin on his knees, blinking slowly as he felt himself dozing off.

“You’re so wonderfully cruel, Raven,” Skylar said, putting an abrupt end to the peaceful silence.

Raven groaned. “What did I do this time?”

“Leaving poor Felix hanging like that, of course. He was looking forward to you joining them outside in the snow.”

“Well, he’s out of luck. I hate this kind of weather.”

“Hmm.” Skylar hummed and set his book aside. “You know, I do have a fun little project for you.”

“I won’t do it.”

“Come, now.” The elf held up a bag of gald and rattled it. “I’ll even pay you for it.”

Raven narrowed his eyes. He thought he knew Skylar well enough now not to trust him for any reason, but that nice, heavy-looking bag of gald was calling his name. “What’s the project?” he asked.

“Have you ever heard of the Celsius’ Tear, Raven?”

“Celsius’ Tear…?”

“It’s a very rare flower that only blooms in snowy conditions like this. I used to see them back around my elven community all the time when it snowed during winter,” Skylar said. “I’ll give you a big handful of gald if you go out there, find one, and present it to Elsynne as a gift.”

Raven cursed under his breath; of course this was just another way for Skylar to screw with him. “There’s no way in hell I’ll do that.”

“Come on, Raven. It’s a fun way to keep yourself from getting bored. And besides, you’ll get some gald out of it,” the elf said artfully. “If you refuse again, I’ll wake Stephen up and tell him you’re just dying to see what happens when you set bombs off in the snow.”

That was more than enough incentive to get Raven off the floor and up on his feet. “Fine, I’ll do it,” he agreed, glancing hesitantly in Stephen’s direction.

“Good,” Skylar said, motioning to the door. “I’m glad you see it my way, as usual.”

Raven stormed out of the room and slammed the door as loudly as he could, hoping it would wake Stephen up and leave Skylar to deal with whatever explosive chaos ensued.

The air outside the inn was so cold that it almost hurt Raven just to breathe. He hugged his arms closer to his body and shivered, longing for a thick jacket or at least something to keep himself warm. As he struggled through the snow and walked farther away from the building, he made a silent promise to torture Skylar when (and if) he got back.

Raven traveled through the cold for several long minutes, keeping his head to the ground as he searched fruitlessly for the elusive Celsius’ Tear. His face was numb and he couldn’t move his fingers anymore; he wanted to give up and turn around, but some kind of hidden force – most likely greed or his already damaged pride – kept him moving forward.

“Raven!”

When Raven heard Felix cry his name he wished right then and there that he could sink into the snow and disappear.

“What are you going out here? You’re so far from the inn!” Felix said when he finally caught up to Raven. “You could freeze to death!”

“I’ll be f-fine,” Raven replied through chattering teeth. “Why a-aren’t you with Elsynne and the others?”

Felix shrugged sheepishly and kicked at a pile of snow by his feet. “Well, I saw you out here by yourself and thought you must be cold, so…” The boy hesitated for a moment and unwound his scarf from his neck. “Here, wear it!”

“I don’t want your damn s-scarf, Felix. I’ll be- Hey!”

Felix interrupted him and jumped forward, wrapping the soft blue scarf clumsily around Raven’s neck. “Here you go!”

Raven opened his mouth to protest again but stopped; the scarf did make him feel just a little warmer…

“So,” Felix started, “why are you out here all by yourself?”

Raven bit his lip. “Skylar said he’d pay me to come out here and find a Celsius’ Tear,” he said, tactfully leaving out the bit about presenting it to Elsynne.

“Oh!” Felix’s already glowing face lit up as he took Raven’s hand. “I saw a whole bunch of them out here! Follow me!”

Before Raven could object Felix dragged him up a snowy rise only a few feet from where they had been standing only moments before. “Hey, wait-“ The words died in his throat as Felix dropped his hand and smiled, nodding to the base of the hill.

“What do you think, Raven?”

The white valley below them sparkled with hundreds of crystalline flowers, each one of them shining brilliantly in the gray, watery sunlight. Raven carefully descended the hill and knelt over to get a better look at the Celsius’ Tears – they were transparent like diamonds, but each one looked like they were cool to the touch. Wisps of misty, icy air emanated from the tips of their petals and rose into the air like a thin smoke.

“Careful! It might hurt you if you touch it with your bare hands,” Felix warned. The boy bent forward and gently picked the delicate-looking flower in his mittened hands.

“Thanks,” Raven said, standing and brushing the snow from his clothes.

“So, Raven…” Felix fidgeted uncomfortably again, holding the Celsius’ Tear close to his chest. “Were you planning on giving this to someone in particular…?”

Raven hesitated. He already knew that Felix was overprotective of his cousin – he had no idea how the boy would react to the whole situation if he told him more about Skylar’s stupid bet. ‘How could I explain to him that I’m just in it for the money without causing some big misunderstanding…?’

Raven finally settled with an uncertain question. “Er…why do you ask?”

“Well, Ilia told me a little bit about the Celsius’ Tear tradition.”

“Tradition…?” How did Ilia always know about these kinds of things and he didn’t? ‘I knew I should’ve paid attention in my classes…’

“Yeah. It’s kind of like that rose thing, you know? You give a Celsius’ Tear to someone you really like for the holidays. I don’t think it symbolizes love like the rose does, but…” Felix laughed timidly and looked up at him. “People from Austror and Libra really like stuff with flowers, huh?”

Raven decided very quickly that he was going to slaughter Skylar in the most painful way possible the minute he got back, gald or no gald.
_________________

[Zandra]

I had a good laugh. Oh yes I did.
_________________

[Gamestop]

[Roadie]

Thanks for the comments, Zan and YZorker. <3 I'm glad you guys liked it, that oneshot was fun to work on.

I still might post the new chapter today, if anyone's interested...

[Gamestop]

kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaOkay I'm done.

btw I was only joking but I appreciate that.
_________________

by Sir Shrek

sexy avy by Pictomaster Murasaki.

[Toku]

Oh yes...oh yes...

Reading fanstories makes me want to get to work again...

I lol'ed so hard at your oneshot and the skit makes it ever so much better!
_________________

[Sir Shrek]

I vote new chapter! Oh, and I'm glad you like my comments. Always good to know you're appreciated. As for the holiday themed misadventure, I found it very funny. I love Raven's eventually just going ah screw it and going after Skylar. It sounds like something I would do.

Something completely off topic: I biult a crossbow yesterday out of some cooking skewers, a pen, rubber bands, a bigass binder clip, and gorrilla tape. It shoots thru cardboard!
_________________


Credit to squidmaster64 for the fanbar.

[KK Twain]

I liked the oneshot, and the skit was the perfect ending to it. As to what Felix said, I think flowers are a sweet way to show... kindness at the very least.

Did the messenger and Raven personalities mix a little bit? That or she half-killed Raven and half-killed the messenger... although I suppose that's pretty much the same thing.

New chapter sounds fun.

[Gamestop]

[Roadie]

Thanks again for the feedback, everyone. It's always very much appreciated. <3 It makes me glad to see people still enjoy the story and the characters. (In fact, Elsynne having two votes in the poll surprises me...)

YZorker: I was bored anyway so it killed time. :') And I found it amusing... So I'm glad you liked it. <3

And now, as promised, a new chapter of Tales of Bipolaria... I mean, Tales of Cadence. I've posted a lot of writing this week, haven't I...? Here are the first ten chapter summaries, by the way. More to come soon.

This is incredibly painful to read. (Well, more painful than usual.) :') I apologize in advance.




Chapter LI

Elsynne’s head slammed hard against the rough plaster wall with the force of Raven’s attack. Raven held out his hands, prepared to strike her again, summoning the familiar surge of power to his fingertips.

A split second later, something rammed into his abdomen. Pain shot through his body and crippled his senses; his vision blacked and blurred before he fell back into the bedside table. He doubled over, holding his now-sore stomach.

“Don’t be stupid,” Harriette hissed, pulling a new Charm from her pocket. You might’ve had your way earlier, but you won’t now. Stand down.”

Elsynne shakily pushed herself to her feet, holding the back of her head with a bruised hand. Blood welled sickeningly between her fingers and spattered to the wood floor.

“You have to be ready to fight back if he uses magic like that,” Harriette warned, turning to her sister. “Something’s still wrong with him even if part of his possessed soul is gone.”

“I don’t think all of it’s gone,” Elsynne said weakly.

“You probably killed some of the old me, too!” Raven retorted.

“Whatever possessed you most likely killed most of your old self. You’re fortunate that even a portion of it managed to survive,” Harriette interrupted. She kicked him aside and he dropped to the ground with a loud thud.

Elsynne wrung her hands at her chest. “I’m sorry, Raven-“

“Your stupid apology isn’t enough!” Raven pulled himself up, staggering as he balanced his hand on the broken table. “You dragged me to that damn Sanctuary in the first place! And now you’ve killed part of me!”

“It couldn’t be helped!”

“I won’t be the same person I was! I remember things, but they’re so fuzzy…” He put a hand to his forehead. “Why can’t I remember everything that happened in the Tower? Why can’t I remember small things about myself anymore?”

Harriette raised an eyebrow. “Do you have amnesia?”

“No, I don’t. I remember most things—important things, I guess—but some of the memories of myself are so hazy. I don’t…know who I am anymore.” He dragged his hand down his face and looked up, glaring at Elsynne. “Look what you’ve done to me.”

“Raven…”

“No! I don’t understand why you get off so easy and I have to go through all of this!”

Harriette activated a Charm in her hand. “That’s enough. If you can’t keep yourself calm-“

Raven threw up a shield of black magic. The strength of it pushed Harriette and Elsynne aside, forcing them against the opposite wall. Raven hid himself in the barrier, wrapping his hands around his body. ‘I don’t even which person I am anymore… Am I the old Raven, or this new one…?’ He could hear the sisters calling out to him from behind the barrier, but their voices were too muffled for him to make out.

Raven lowered himself to the ground, pulling his legs to his chest and placing his chin on his knees. He felt as if he could stay there forever, surrounded by the protective barrier that cut him off from the rest of the horrible world. He didn’t want to go back out and face the others.

His shield suddenly disappeared with a sharp snap. Raven turned lethargically and saw Ophelia and Arngon standing by the door, their hands thrown in front of their faces. Now Raven could see that the entire room was in disarray—his personal items were strewn across the floor with the bed sheets and his sword was lying haphazardly beside the window.

Ophelia lowered her arms and crossed the room in several quick, fluid strides. She grabbed Raven roughly by the front of his shirt, shaking him back and forth like a rag doll. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

Raven let himself go limp. Ophelia shook him again, ignoring Elsynne’s quiet protests. “Answer me!” she demanded, slapping him across the cheek.

Raven kicked her in the stomach and jumped back. Ophelia dropped gracefully into a roll and slid to her feet, throwing out a thick mass of black magic. It hit Raven in the chest and threw him against the bed, knocking the air from his lungs.

“We’ll have to subdue him for now,” Ophelia said, motioning to Arngon. The dragonling grabbed Raven by the throat and pinned him down. “Skylar was right… He’s uncontrollable right now.”

“He’s just confused,” Elsynne replied softly. Raven felt his eyes drooping closed; they sounded distant again, just like they had in the Tower.

“He’s too dangerous,” Harriette added. She lowered her voice to a whisper. “I almost wish you would’ve killed him.”

“Harriette!”

“It’s true. This is taking way too much time from our schedule.”

Raven listened for Elsynne’s reply, but he couldn’t hear them anymore. His entire body was frozen now—Ophelia’s black magic numbed his senses and forced him into a restless, nightmarish sleep.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Raven woke again he found himself locked in the room with nowhere to go. He looked to the door, imaging himself blowing it to splinters with the flick of a wrist, but when he tried to move his hands he realized that they were tied behind his back.

“Damn it!” He threw himself against the wall and slid down, hitting the floor with an agonizing thud. “Let me out!”

No one came. He didn’t even hear them talking outside. Did they leave him to die? Raven smiled ruefully; it was to be expected. He was just a nuisance, wasn’t he? ‘I’m completely worthless. I’m broken. I’m nothing.’

Raven resigned himself to a corner of the room and sat there for what felt like hours before the door finally opened. His heartbeat quickened for a moment before he realized that it was only Ophelia. She slid a meager tray of food across the room and shut the door again. Raven didn’t touch the plate and refused to eat each time she came back.

Several days passed—his strength began to wane and his stomach felt as if it had sunken in, but he didn’t want to eat. His eyes wandered the room slowly, surveying each rotten corner of his prison. The small hotel room felt cramped and smelled strongly of mildew and dry-rot; wallpaper was peeling from the corners of the ceiling and the bed sheets—which had probably been a pristine white at some point perhaps twenty years ago—were now a faded yellow. The window across from him was stained a murky brown and was covered with dozens of grimy fingerprints.

For several days Raven sat in that corner of the dim room, glaring silently at the opposite wall with enough fervor to bore holes through the concrete. His lethargy slowly turned to raw hatred—the energy coursed through his veins, hot and stifling like a fire. Finally, with a weak stagger, he pushed himself to his feet. He used black magic to bend the thick cords from his wrists and took the liberty of breaking nearly every touchable object in the room, with the sole exceptions of the bed—which was placed firmly on the floor—and the door to the hotel room itself.

Raven shifted and turned his heated gaze to the smudged windowpane. Although the door was bolted shut, he was almost positive that the window was probably unlocked. He pressed his hands against the glass, adding to the already overwhelming collection of fingerprints scoring the pane.

The paved streets below were empty, quiet, and approximately five stories below his window. Raven knew that if he made an attempt to escape, he had two fates awaiting him: one, he would land successfully outside and make a break for the train station, or two, he could crash into the street below and the last sound resonating in his ears would be the ominous crack of every bone in his body.

At the time both options were startlingly tantalizing. Even if he escaped alive, he would probably die anyway—there was nowhere in the world where he could hide without being detected by his ‘captors’. Without another moment’s hesitation he began fumbling with the window’s flimsy lock, jiggling the pane to force it open. He realized with a harried oath that the damn thing probably hadn’t been opened in years.

The door at the other end of the room opened with a long, drawn-out screech. Raven made no attempt to stop trying to open the window—after all, he could still jump before they got to him.

The door slammed shut and a pair of footsteps crossed the room. “No! Don’t do that!” Elsynne cried, taking him by the wrists and pulling him backward.

“Ow, ow! What the hell?!” Raven demanded, jerking himself from her grasp. Elsynne steadied herself confidently and clenched her hands into tight fists. But, despite her offensive stance, Raven could still see her trembling.

“What were you doing?” she asked fearfully, her brow creased with worry. “Trying to...kill yourself?”

Raven suppressed a cruel laugh—wasn’t he going to die anyway, whether it was by his own hand or not? “I was only trying to get a little fresh air. It’s a bit cramped in here.”

Elsynne took her eyes off him for a second as she surveyed the mess. “S-So I see;” she murmured softly, reassuming a more relaxed posture. “Please, don’t try to hurt yourself anymore...”

“What do you care?”

“We all care. Everyone’s worried about you.”

This time Raven had trouble holding back his laugh and it came out as a dry cough. Elsynne’s frown deepened and she lowered her head sadly. “I’m being serious. We wouldn’t have come for you if we didn’t care.”

“Them? Care? Not a chance,” he said, leaning against the wall and folding his arms defiantly over his chest. “They only came because you did.”

“Don’t be like this. You’re acting so petty and selfish.”

“Then why’d you bother to come get me back?”

Elsynne sighed and placed a hand on her forehead, trying desperately to maintain her calm and collected composure. “That’s because I... Well, we all wanted to help you...”

“I know for a fact that the others would prefer to leave me face-down in a ditch if given the chance.”

Neither spoke for an unbearably long time. Finally Elsynne seated herself on the edge of the bed, folding her hands neatly in her lap before taking a few deep breaths to soothe her fraying nerves.

“Why did you come?” Raven asked after a thoughtful silence.

“I already told you, because we-“

“I meant, why did you come to find me? I was trying to kill you, after all.”
His question startled her—she hadn’t expected him to ask that. She stuttered a few times before actually speaking, “I, er, well...”

Raven’s face remained an emotionless mask, carefully gauging her reaction. “Well, what?” he asked after she fell silent again, nervously wringing her hands. Elsynne muttered a few more inaudible words under her breath before standing and smoothing out her clothing. “I should probably go.”

“...Am I allowed to leave yet?”

“No.”

He frowned. “Why not?”

Elsynne’s eyes swept the messy hotel room, probably calculating how much the staff would probably charge for repairs before they left (if they noticed, of course).

“Let me come, please,” he begged. He sounded uncharacteristically sincere, and Elsynne wanted badly to believe him, but after everything that had recently happened she knew that they couldn’t trust a single word out of his mouth.

“You’ll try to leave again...won’t you?” she asked, carefully avoiding his gaze by staring at a broken vase on the floor.

Raven paused for a moment, remembering his attempted escape—of course they wouldn’t believe him now, even if he wasn’t going back to the Tower. He deserted the group twice already and both occurrences had resulted in some sort of disaster. The others wouldn’t be very keen to let him wander by himself anymore; there was no doubt that he would be kept on a considerably short leash after this—if they ever let him leave, of course.

Elsynne was already standing in front of him again. “I’m going to stay here with you,” she said resolutely, making a poor attempt to look as demanding as possible.

He shifted uncomfortably under her gaze. “All right.”

“To make sure you don’t try to jump out the window again,” she continued, keeping her voice level.

“I’m not, I’m not... Gods, you’re so annoying.”

Elsynne had to force a smile despite his attitude; he seemed more like himself now than he had in weeks.

“How’d you get past Ophelia and Harriette, anyway?” Raven asked.

She looked over his shoulder, avoiding his gaze again. “Ophelia knows I’m here.”

“She let you in, just like that?”

“Sort of…”

Raven lowered his eyes. “You don’t have to stay in here, you know. I’m…not going anywhere.”

She raised a skeptical eyebrow. “I’m not even going to bother pretending to believe you.”

“I don’t have the best track record, do I?”

Elsynne laughed quietly and sat down on the edge of the bed again, carefully sweeping a few splinters of wood from the sheets. She paused for a moment, staring quietly at the ceiling before she asked, “Why were you so angry earlier?”

Raven looked away, focusing on the worn hem of his shirt.

“Do you…not want to discuss it right now?”

“I can’t remember anything,” he muttered.

“You can’t remember anything at all? Like-”

“No, not like that. It’s not amnesia or anything, if that’s what you’re thinking,” he explained quickly, speaking faster now than he could think. “It’s just…there are some things I remember really well and some things I can’t remember at all. It’s like there are a lot of gaps.”

“For your entire life, or just what happened recently?”

“Everything. Like…I know I should be able to remember some things, but I just can’t anymore. Most of the gaps are during the ceremony in the Tower and the whole time I was supposedly possessed, though.”

Elsynne stared down at her folded hands. “I’ve been thinking about it and discussing things with the others for a while. I think that part of whatever possessed you definitely died—or most of it, anyway, since I think that some of it is still inside of you—but it killed part of your old self as well. Maybe that’s why some of your memories are fuzzy.”

“Because they died with the old me?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

Raven leaned back against the wall. “Part of me’s dead… That sounds weird, doesn’t it?”

Elsynne smiled weakly. “It’s just a hypothesis. It’s the best we could come up with.”

“Then why do you all think I’m acting differently? Did you come up with a hypothesis for that, too?”

She shrugged, tracing the pattern on the bed sheets beneath her. “Maybe part of the soul that possessed you merged with whatever was left with the old you. I’m not completely sure—that’s just a guess.”

“It’s better than nothing, I suppose.”

Elsynne stopped and glanced up at him. “Are you feeling any better now?”

“No.”

She sighed and brushed a strand of hair from her eyes. “I’m really sor-“

“Would you stop apologizing for it? You’re really pissing me off,” Raven interrupted. “It’s like you think apologizing a million times will actually make things better. It won’t, so just stop.”

Elsynne opened her mouth again—probably to apologize once more—but stopped herself and clamped her lips shut. She nodded silently and stared at the wall again.

“Sorry,” Raven muttered. “I just want things to go back to the way they were before. I wish I wasn’t possessed or killed or whatever happened. I don’t want my memory to be so screwed up.”

“I can’t make things go back to the way they were. None of us knew this would happen,” Elsynne replied slowly. “There’s nothing I can do that will make everything better. But…I think if you really tried, you could make things better. You’ll never be the person you were before the accident, but you can still try. I can help.”

“That sounds like some crap you’d say.”

“I’m being serious, Raven. Please, if you want things to be normal again, I can try to help. We’re all willing to help if you’re willing to try.”

He looked up and met her gaze, taken aback by the fierce, almost foreign determination in her blue eyes. ‘She’s really serious,’ he thought, taking a deep breath. Why not humor her, just for a while?

“Fine, then,” Raven said. “Let’s give it a go.”

Elsynne smiled a bit and lowered herself to the floor, sitting cross-legged across from him. “The best place to start is the beginning, right? Tell me everything you remember.”

“Everything?”

Her grin softened. “Think back to when we first met in Austror, on that road outside the farming village. Tell me everything, Raven.”
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[wolfeyes]

Aw...poor Raven.

It's nice to see traces of old Raven coming back though in this chapter, mainly in latter half of the chapter between him and Elsynne.
_________________


Pathetic attempts at fanfiction

[Gamestop]

I missed the old Raven.
_________________

by Sir Shrek

sexy avy by Pictomaster Murasaki.

[Roadie]

Thanks for the comments on the chapter, wolfeyes and YZorker.

I needed to take a break from Vesperia today so I got to work on those skits Silv mentioned a while back... (The ones that would come up if a character was left out of fighting for a certain amount of time.)


Skit: Think of the Future!

Skylar: Ah, another victory for us.

Raven: So who died and made you the leader of the group?

Skylar: Hmm?

Raven: Give me a chance to fight, will you?

Skylar: You have had your chance. Let some other people take up the slack for a while. Why, we can’t have our future king dying on the battlefield.

Raven: You stupid bastard!



Skit: Money Money Money

Elsynne: Raven, have I done something wrong?

Raven: Not that I’m aware of. Why?

Elsynne: W-Well, I haven’t had a chance to fight lately, and-

Raven: Oh, that. I figured you were tired out after using so much light magic.

Elsynne: But I’m fine! Really, you don’t have to worry about me.

Ilia: I think he’s more worried about your money than he is about you, Elsynne.

Elsynne: Ah, I s-should’ve figured…



Skit: How May I Be of Service?

Raven: What do you want this time?

Skylar: I don’t mean to disturb you, Your Excellency, but I have a favor I’d like to ask.

Raven: You’re already off to a bad start, you bastard.

Skylar: I joined your motley crew to help fight on the battlefield. Why aren’t you letting me battle a few monsters?

Raven: Because I think everyone should get a fair chance. Why don’t you just enjoy your break?

Skylar: Well, I suppose I could relax a bit while you do all my dirty work…



Skit: The End of the World

Felix: Raven, this is terrible!

Raven: Wh-What is?

Felix: If I don’t get a chance to fight soon, I’ll grow up before I get a chance to become as strong as you or the Bane Rangers!

Raven: …Er…

Felix: Please, let me fight! I promise I’ll do well! I’ll take all the enemies out myself!

Raven: Didn’t you just say you weren’t strong yet…?

Felix: Please, Raven! I want to fight so I can get even better!

Raven: (All this kicking and screaming just to fight… It’s like it’s the end of the world or something.)

Felix: (cute eyes)

Raven: (The eyes of the devil!) Errrgh… I’ve, ah, got to go ask Elsynne a question!

Felix: Raven, wait! I need your answer…!



Skit: Senior Citizen

Elsynne: Stephen, I haven’t seen you on the battlefield in a while. Are you okay?

Stephen: Yeah, I’m just taking a bit of a break.

Elsynne: Are you hurt? I can heal you if you’d like.

Stephen: No, I’m fine. I’m just a little tired, that’s all.

Raven: He was whining like an old man so he’s taking up the benchwarmer position for a while.

Stephen: Yes, I’m having trouble keeping up with your youthful fighting spirit.

Raven: W-Whoa…that’s the first time you’ve ever admitted to being old!

Stephen: …You were supposed to tell me that I’m not that old…



Skit: The Monster Diet

Ilia: Edward, what’s the big idea?!

Raven: Eh?

Ilia: How come I haven’t had a chance to fight lately? C’mon, I wanna kick some monster butt!

Raven: Show off your magic, you mean…

Ilia: That too. So let me join in the next battle! You won’t be sorry!

Raven: You’ve been fighting for a long time. Take a little break.

Ilia: But…if I don’t exercise I’ll lose my girlish figure!

Raven: Then cut back on eating. Or something.

Ilia: Are you saying I eat too much…?

Raven: I never said that!

Ilia: Ooh, you’ll be sorry! Fireball!

Raven: Ow, ow! I never said anything! Jeez, what’s with girls and their weight…?



Skit: All Eyes

Cymbeline: Ooh, that last fight was fun to watch. Great work, everyone!

Felix: Thanks, Cymbeline!

Ilia: You’re okay with sitting on the sides?

Cymbeline: Oh, it’s nice sitting back and relaxing. I get to watch the clouds and figure out what their shapes are, y’know?

Felix: I thought you were watching us fight.

Cymbeline: Oh, I do that too.

Felix: A-At the same time?!

Ilia: Oh, for the love of-

Cymbeline: Yes.

Felix and Ilia: …
_________________

[Gamestop]

lol Cymbeline.
_________________

by Sir Shrek

sexy avy by Pictomaster Murasaki.