ToS - Switch glitch (Special 2 pt. 2 up!)

Meowzy · Joined: 08 Oct 2005 Posts: 9624 Location: The Sacred Realm

First of all, I want you all to know that you drove me to do this. I tried to resist, but couldn't. So I hereby fully apologize that I am posting yet another 'parody of the entire game' spoof. But unlike some others, I do intend to finish this spoof, and follow most of the game. Except for one difference. Yuan and Kratos have switched places.
...
Yes, you heard me.
So I want to start off by saying that this spoof can cause mental damage, has YuanxKratos and LloydxZelos... Maybe RainexSheena and MithosxGenis later on... There will be spoilers for the game, obviously... Uhmm... I know that I cannot step into the great Zelos The Wolf's footsteps, but I wanted to write something, just to prove a point.
ToS spoofs don't need fancy pictures, or lots of random cameos. (except for the writer, who might have to do some narration, but doesn't join the gang in their quest in any way.)

So... Let's get started. The first chapter is dull anyway.

The Switch Glitch spoof.

Part one.

*the camera slowly zooms in on Iselia*
Yuan's voice: Once upon a time, there was a tree that was the source of Mana. A horrible war, however, caused this tree to wither, and a *hacking cough* hero's life was sacrificed, in order to take its place. Grieving over the loss, Ma- Errr... The goddess disappeared unto the heavens. The goddess left the angels with this edict: 'You must wake me. For if I should sleep, the world shall be destroyed.' The angels created- Errr... bore the chosen one, who must head to the tower that reaches into the heaven. And that marked the beginning of the destr- Errr... Regeneration of the world. Yeah.
*a black cloak whips past the camera, as the camera zooms into a schoolbuilding*
Raine: Lloyd! Lloyd Irving, wake up!
*a long silence follows. Raine throws an eraser at Lloyd, who opens his eyes*
Raine: Honestly, how do you manage to sink into a coma while standing and holding two buckets of water?
Lloyd: I'm sorry professor Sage. Class is so boring...
Raine: Yeah, that's what they all say.
*The entire class, except for Genis and Colette is on the floor in a coma*
Raine: Genis, could you answer the question?
Genis: Sure. Uhm... One plus one is two.
Raine: Very good Genis. *throws Genis a biscuit*
*Colette raises her hand*
Raine: Yes, Colette?
Colette: I just wanted to remind you all that today is my sixteenth birthday, and that I'll have to attend the oracle soon. So that I may save the world.
Raine: Yes, yes, Colette. No need to brag.
Colette: Bragging is all I have. I have no brains, I'm flat-chested, and when I finish the journey I'll be dragged into heaven to become an angel.
Raine: Hush. Nobody's supposed to know about that.
Lloyd: *snore*
Genis: *absentmindedly gnawing on the biscuit*
Raine: ... Okay, we're safe.
*suddenly, the classroom gets lit by a bright light coming from outside*
Colette: Oooh! It's oracle time! Now I get to save the world!
Raine: Colette, shut up. Now, you all wait quietly, and I'll wander off for no particular reason. Don't leave the classroom, unless a dying pastor walks in here.
Colette: Yes, professor.
*Raine leaves. Colette walks over to Lloyd, and gives him a shove. Lloyd wakes with a start*
Lloyd: Ah! The cream puffs are attacking! ... Oh, it was only a dream. And what a horrible dream it was...
Colette: Come on Lloyd. Let's go play a game.
Lloyd: What kind of game?
Colette: 'Fix the holes Colette made in the wall.'
Lloyd: Again?! I hate that game.
*suddenly, a dying pastor walks into the classroom*
Lloyd, Colette and Genis: ...
Colette: Yay! We get to leave the classroom!
*the three shoot past the pastor*
Pastor: Hey, wait! I haven't told you about the Des- *falls on the ground and dies*
*the three arrive outside*
Genis: So, now what do we do?
Lloyd: Why are you even here?
Genis: I have to follow you both, for plot reasons. So here's a half-baked excuse. Hmm... I wanna find my sister.
Lloyd: Okay, fair enough. ... Wait, why am I even here?
Colette: Because the oracle has shinies.
Lloyd: SHINIES! What are we waiting for?!
*Lloyd runs towards the exit of the village, and soon comes running back. He hides behind Genis*
Genis: What the heck?
Lloyd: Ghost! *points to the exit of the village, where a monster is waiting*
Genis: That's not a ghost. That's a zombie.
Lloyd: Whatever! Just kill it!
*Genis sends a fireball at the zombie, who bursts into flames*
Colette: Kinda macabre, don't you think?
Genis: Less talking, more walking. We have to get the plot moving.
_________________
"TEACH ME ABOUT BAZONGAS!!!"

Meowzy's Assorted (Tales) Spoofs

Kazuya · Joined: 17 Nov 2005 Posts: 8617

XD I think this is gonna benother great spoof/parody/whatever. ^^ I can't wait for the next chapter!
_________________

Avi by Ku~

summoner_sheena · Posted: Sun Jul 09, 2006 8:37 pm Post subject:

I think I'm gonna like this spoof the most. xD

Meowzy · Joined: 08 Oct 2005 Posts: 9624 Location: The Sacred Realm

... People aren't yelling at me yet? Wow!
And, because the fun doesn't start until you reach Martel temple...

Part two.

*the group heads outside the village. They soon get chased by wolves, eagles, and other creepy animals. Screaming like little girls, they arrive at Martel temple*
Lloyd: Phew, that was close.
Mystery voice: And just who the hell are you?
*they turn to see Yuan standing at the foot of the stairs*
Lloyd: Who are you?
Yuan: I don't feel a need to introduce myself to a miserable- ...
/flashback/
Yggdrasill: And remember, be nice to the chosen.
Yuan: Yeah, yeah.
/end flashback/
Yuan: ... I mean... I'm Yuan. A mercenary. Want some candy? *holds out a lollipop*
Lloyd: Oh lords! It's a paedophile! *hides behind Genis again*
Yuan: Gee, you're nice to kids for once, and this is the thanks you get?
Genis: ... Are you by any chance a half-elf?
Yuan: Yes. So are you.
Lloyd: Ahahah! No, don't be silly. Genis is an elf! Right Genis?
Genis: ... Yeaaaah. Riiight. An elf. *shifty eyes*
Yuan: Is the chosen of Mana among you?
Lloyd: Yes, she's right- Uhh...
*Lloyd looks around to see where Colette has gone. She is being dragged off by a pack of wolves*
Colette: I'll call you Pepe! And I'll call you Spunky! And I'll call you- Ow, my leg!
Lloyd: Colette, those aren't dogs! Run!
Colette: But I wanna name 'm! ... Oh dear, I'm suffering from loss of blood. Weeeeh! Twinkle twinkle little star!
*Yuan pulls out his double-edged saber, and runs towards the wolves. The wolves cry in a pathetic way, and run off, leaving Colette behind*
Yuan: Are you still alive?
Colette: Not for long... Heeheeheeh.
*Yuan uses an apple gel on Colette*
Colette: I live!
Lloyd: Awww, why did you do that?
Yuan: It's my job to protect the chosen.
Lloyd: But nobody's hired you yet.
Yuan: ... Shut up.
*the gang walks up the stairs*
Lloyd: Why are you following us?
Yuan: Errr... I uh...
Lloyd: You're a paedophile! I knew it!
Yuan: No I'm not! I just happen to be going in the same direction as you.
Colette: Hey look, what's that?
*They reach the top of the stairs, and see a group of 'Desians', crowded around something, and muttering*
'Desian' #1: Joe, this is all your fault.
'Desian' #2 aka Joe: I'm sorry! My hand slipped!
'Desian' #3: If only someone had been here earlier, to prevent this from happening...
Colette: Hello!
*The 'Desians' whip around with a nervous expression*
Colette: Whatcha doin'?
Yuan: Yes... Indeed. Desians aren't supposed to be here.
Lloyd: Yeah! We have a peace treaty with ranch!
Yuan: Uh? Oh, uhm... That's what I was referring to, obviously.
'Desian' #1: We're not doing anything suspicious. No sirree.
Colette: Whatcha hiding behind your backs? *stands on tiptoe*
Joe: Nothing. Certainly not a dead granny! ... DOH!
'Desian' #1: JOE!
Joe: I'm sorry! I blurted it out! I didn't mean to-
Colette: Dead granny? You don't mean...
*the 'Desians' step aside, and take off their helmets to show respect to the dead*
Lloyd: HAH! I just saw your faces!
'Desian' #3: ... Ah, barnacles.
*Colette runs towards the granny*
Colette: Grandmother! Grandmother, I'm sorry! I should've- ... Wait... You're not my grandmother.
Genis: That's... Marble! *runs over to Marble, and kneels down next to her* Marble! Marble, nooooo! ... *steals her exsphere*
Lloyd: Who the heck is Marble?
Yuan: I think we just skipped a big and annoying scene.
*Meowzy is heard sniggering*
'Desian' #3: Hey, aren't you Yuan?
Yuan: ... Yes.
'Desian' #3: Hi, I'm Botta.
Yuan: ...
Botta: Errr... I mean... Damn, I didn't think you'd show up. Retreat for now, guys.
Joe: But Bob and me were gonna bury the granny!
'Desian' #1 aka Bob: Yeah!
Botta: No time for that now! Run awaaay!
*the 'Desians' flee*
_________________
"TEACH ME ABOUT BAZONGAS!!!"

Meowzy's Assorted (Tales) Spoofs

Shuya · Posted: Sun Jul 09, 2006 9:27 pm Post subject:

lol XD

I'd prefer to play this one rather than the original XDD

Hopefully you will finish it, though XDDD
_________________

Odin M Yggdrasil · Joined: 24 Dec 2005 Posts: 14734 Location: Dead

this is way better tha the game. keep it up.

Kazuya · Joined: 17 Nov 2005 Posts: 8617

Yay for quick chapters. This is great too! Keep it up!
_________________

Avi by Ku~

Meowzy · Joined: 08 Oct 2005 Posts: 9624 Location: The Sacred Realm

I honestly cannot stop writing. I finished 9 chapters already.

Part three.

Lloyd: That was awkward...
Phaidra: Tell me about it.
Colette: Grandma! You're alright!
Phaidra: Yeah. Those crooks were really closing in on me, and nobody came to my rescue, so I used my stunt-double. *glances at Marble*
Yuan: Hey miss. Will you pay me if I protect the chosen?
Phaidra: Huh? Oh, sure.
Yuan: Okay, it's settled. I'll be guiding the chosen from now on. Come on blondie, let's go do that oracle.
Lloyd: Not. So. Fast.
Yuan: Beat it kid, we're busy.
*the scene freezes, and Meowzy appears*
Meowzy: It's option time! Option number 1; "I'm not a kid, you bastard! And I'm going too, whether you like it or not!". Option number 2; "Okay. If you say so, mister mercenary."
Lloyd: Hmm... I'll go with option number 1, because I like being rude.
Meowzy: Okey Dokey.
*Meowzy disappears again, and the scene continues*
Lloyd: I'm not a kid, you b-
Yuan: Oh, hush.
Lloyd: *pout*
Genis: Excuse me, my good man, but I do believe Lloyd and I have to come too.
Yuan: Why?
Genis: We give Colette the proper motivation needed to complete her journey.
Yuan: Ah... I guess that's true. Okay, fine. But don't get in our way.
Lloyd: Yay!
*the three head inside the Martel temple*
Yuan: You know, I just noticed that I didn't ask for your names. Not that I care, or anything. But the information might prove beneficial.
Lloyd: Give me your name, and I shall give you mine.
Yuan: I already gave you my name.
Lloyd: Oh, okay. That's fair. Well, I'm Lloyd Irving.
Yuan: Lloyd, huh? Interesting. A friend of mine once had a kid named Lloyd. He died in a gruesome way.
Lloyd: Who, your friend?
Yuan: No, the kid. ... And his dog. And his wife. *wrings hands evilly*
Genis: Errr... So anyway, I'm Genis Sage.
Colette: And I'm Colette Brunel! Hiya! ... You know, I have the strange feeling something is wrong with this picture. *glances at the group*
Yuan: Oh? *totally uninterested*
Colette: Yeah. Almost like one of us doesn't belong here, and should be replaced with an auburn-haired guy.
Yuan: Mmmm... Auburn-haired guy... *eyes glaze over, and he drools slightly*
The others: ...
Yuan: *shakes head* I mean, that's stupid. Now let's keep moving.
*An annoying puzzle later, they have arrived at the Sorceror's ring altar*
Lloyd: Shinies! Shinies! Shinies!
*Genis quickly takes the ring before Lloyd can touch it*
Genis: I'd better keep it with me.
Yuan: A smart decision.
Lloyd: Why? You don't trust me with it?
Genis: Last time we gave you a 'shiney', you swallowed it.
Lloyd: I had to! Dwarven vow number seventy-eight, Shinies are the safest in your stomach. *strikes a pose*
Yuan: ... No way in hell you are getting your hands on the sorceror's ring.
Colette: Look guys, puppies! *points to a horde of monsters*
*the gang screams in fear, and flees. Soon, they are standing in front of the door that leads to the teleporter*
Lloyd: The damn thing is closed off. *touches the forcefield, and nothing happens*
Genis: Really? Let me try. *touches the forcefield, and his hairs stand on end*
Lloyd: Wow... I'm immune.
Yuan: No, it's because your hair is already on end. Now stop fooling around, and use the sorceror's ring.
Colette: Oh! Oh! Can I try?
*Genis hands the ring to Colette, who uses it. The forcefield disappears*
Colette: Wow! It opened! I guess I really am the chosen!
Genis: ... Not yet Colette. *whacks her with a script*
Lloyd: Look! More shinies! *runs towards the teleporter, and starts licking it*
Yuan: ... This is gonna be a long journey of Regeneration...
_________________
"TEACH ME ABOUT BAZONGAS!!!"

Meowzy's Assorted (Tales) Spoofs

Kazuya · Joined: 17 Nov 2005 Posts: 8617

You wrote 9 chapters already!? O_o

XD Love that chapter too cc. ^^'
_________________

Avi by Ku~

niffe · Joined: 17 Mar 2006 Posts: 402

*lol* write more ^^
_________________

Top sig done by Kaz; second one, I don't know... *so lazy*

Meowzy · Joined: 08 Oct 2005 Posts: 9624 Location: The Sacred Realm

zeldafan422 · Joined: 13 Jun 2006 Posts: 515

It's good..but someone's already written this..I think..

Meowzy · Joined: 08 Oct 2005 Posts: 9624 Location: The Sacred Realm

You might be confusing this with one of the many other game spoofs on this forum. There are quite a lot of 'm.
_________________
"TEACH ME ABOUT BAZONGAS!!!"

Meowzy's Assorted (Tales) Spoofs

zeldafan422 · Joined: 13 Jun 2006 Posts: 515

I still think that someone switched Kratos and Yuan though..

Oh well.

Meowzy · Joined: 08 Oct 2005 Posts: 9624 Location: The Sacred Realm

*thinks*
I do remember a story where Yuan and Kratos both guided the chosen. But it wasn't Colette who was the chosen. It was Zelos, because Colette and Zelos had been switched.
Devious, by Katra.
_________________
"TEACH ME ABOUT BAZONGAS!!!"

Meowzy's Assorted (Tales) Spoofs